Monday, November 18, 2013

Another Year for Resolutions - Another Year to Discover God's Will!

It's amazing how every New Year brings with it another year of resolutions!  Another year is set to re-discover and reclaim for ourselves those things we desire.  Everyone in their own way desire to (re)discover the purpose of their life!  

I recently came across a beautiful quote from Pope Benedict XVI: 

"Each of us is WILLED, each of us is LOVED, each of us is NECESSARY!" 

If we are willed, loved, and necessary, then we need to ask why did God's will us? Why are we necessary?  I believe the New Year's resolution is touching a deep desire to understand that God created us out of His will and His love, and that we are necessary!  It is a time to discover God's plan for us!

This past fall, I was blessed to study JPII's "Theology of the Body."  The book is made up of a collection of 129 lectures he gave over Wednesday audiences from Sept. 1979 to Nov. 1984. He addressed the understanding of the human person, in light of human sexuality.  In reading a few lectures for class, I discovered a theme that resounds in my life of discovering God's plan for me!  Pointing to a necessary New Year's resolution. 

JPII presented the following;

In the beginning...
A. God's plan involved creating man and woman for "Himself"
B. Man/Woman was given free will
C. It was in free will man and woman discovers the beauty of "gift of self" to the other (self-gift)

But something happened! In Original sin, the human condition was disordered.  Now enters Concupiscence (a big theological term describing the disorder found in man and woman's will).  JPII writes, "by violating the dimension of the mutual gift of the man and the woman, concupiscence also casts doubt on the fact that each of them is willed by the Creator "for himself." (General Audience 32.5)

The result follows!
C'. Man/Woman fails in self-gift (through failure of self-mastery and putting self over the other)
B'. Man/Woman questions his/her free-will along with losing their free will through slavery to sin.
A'. Man/Woman questions God's plan or even worse, numbs themselves to the idea that there is no purpose/plan for their lives.

Note the reversal found from the original plan for Man and Woman.

After discovering this fact, I recalled all the times I questioned my own vocation.  Felt lost without purpose or control of my life!  It was the time that I failed to give myself completely over to others as a self-gift, when I was self centered, it was when I became enslaved to sin, which followed with questioning God's plan in my life!    It's only when I made a resolve to make myself a self-gift to others, that I freed myself through prayer and Sacraments (Reconciliation and Eucharist), and rediscovered God's plan for myself and the ability to surrender myself to others.

The New Year's is upon us!  A new year to reclaim God's plan, our free will, and make ourselves a self gift!  Through the Grace of Christ, through the Sacrament of reconciliation and the Eucharist, we have the ability of rediscover the fact: 

"Each of us is WILLED, Each of us is LOVED, Each of us is NECESSARY!"

God does have a plan for us!  


Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Lonely Life: My Greatest Fear and Yet it is Where the Lord Calls Me (all of us)

The greatest fear I constantly face while I'm in the seminary studying for the Catholic Priesthood is the fear of loneliness.  Choosing the Catholic Priesthood means choosing a celibate life!  Of course, we associate celibacy with loneliness because it is surrounded by choosing a single life.  Celibacy seems unnatural and undesired.  In all honesty, I too struggle with the idea of celibacy and if called to accept it, celibacy would be a huge sacrifice.  Why do I struggle?  Well, it usually starts with the following questions that arise in my heart: What if I become lonely in my ministry?  What if I fall in love (which I can almost guarantee will happen)?  I then turn to Scripture to build my argument against celibacy even further to match my questions: "It's not good for man to be alone" (Gen 2:18).  Wow, why am I in the seminary and pursuing celibacy again?!?! :)

Then I realize loneliness is not a celibacy issue, it's a human issue.  We all encounter loneliness in a very intense way.   We face times of isolation.  Pope Benedict actually names isolation as the greatest form of poverty in the world. (cf. Charity in Truth, paragraph 53).  We encounter loneliness even when we have the most intimate relationships.  I had a priest share with me a very powerful insight, "You think being single and lonely is tough, think about those who are married and still find themselves lonely even though they have someone inches away from them."

If loneliness is an issue for everyone, then what are we to do?  It seems we can't run away from loneliness, or there is no real answer out there.   I recently came across the following Scripture passage that may give us insight; Matthew 14:13-21.  Jesus just heard about the beheading of St. John the Baptist (a quite disturbing story).  Jesus desires to withdrawal from the crowds because of the death of his cousin, but also the reality that he too would have to face death (cf. Mt 16:21, Jesus announces to his Apostles he too will die shortly afterwards).

It says in Matthew 14:13 that Jesus withdrew to a lonely place.  The only problem is the crowd follows him, with compassion he turns toward the crowd and heals their sick.  What really captures me is in verse 15.  As the day comes to the close, the disciples seeing the crowds try to give advice to the Lord; "This is a lonely place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away into the villages and buy food for themselves."  Jesus responds to his disciples, "you give them something to eat."  The disciples are dumbfounded for they have only 5 loaves and 2 fish, but Jesus reveals a plan that will be the foundation of the Church and give us insight how to face our own loneliness!

Jesus took, blessed, broke, and gave the loaves and fishes to the disciples to then go out to and feed the crowd; over 5,000 were fed!  What does this have to do with anything?   Without going into a full out Scripture study, the feeding of the thousand stories found in all 4 Gospels uses the same language of the Last Supper, and are connected to the same words we use in the Mass!  Do these words sound familiar? "At the time he was betrayed and entered willingly into his passion he took bread and, giving thanks (blessed), broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying "take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is my Body which will be given up for you.""  If you attend Mass, the words should remind you of the Eucharistic prayer said at most Masses.  If you read the Scriptures, it should remind you St. Paul explaining the instruction he had received from the Lord; 1 Cor 11:23,24.

While the disciples wanted to dismiss the crowd from the lonely place to go back into the world, the Lord wanted them to do what?  He wanted the crowd to remain in the lonely place with Him so that he could fill their hunger!  He wanted to fill their loneliness!  With what?  With ordinary bread?  No, he wanted to fill them with the Bread from Heaven.  He wanted to fill them with Himself!!!

What a beautiful reality to the solution of loneliness: Jesus Christ draws us to a lonely place.  It is there that turns toward us with compassion and heals us.  It there he feeds us and fulfills us.  Even though we ourselves look elsewhere to be fed, only Jesus Christ through the Church, built on the foundation of the Apostles, can truly feed us with the bread from heaven; the Eucharist!  (Note that after he takes, blesses it, breaks the loaves, he gives it to the disciples to distribute)

Do I still get lonely in the seminary?  Yes!  Do I still struggle and desire to leave this lonely place I constantly find myself in?  Yes!  But I'm reminded, it is not in the world that my hungers and desires are fulfilled!  It actually in this lonely place the Lord draws me, has compassion toward me, and heals me. It is in the lonely place where the Lord feeds me, nourish me, and gives me Himself! Next time you feel lonely don't try to run away from it with worldly things or distractions; go to the Lord in prayer, read the Scriptures, and if all possible, go to Mass!