I'm Blind, Oh Wait; I Just Need to Take Off My Sunglasses.

One of my favorite stories told to me while I was in Kansas City as a FOCUS missionary came from one of my teammates.  She told us the story when she thought she went completely blind.  She went to bed, only to wake up with every light in the house completely off.  She couldn't see the normal light that would come into the house from the street light, she couldn't see the light from her clock, so she reached for her glasses on the nightstand, put her glasses on, and realized she actually couldn't see anything at all.  She went stumbling throughout the house yelling "I'm Blind, I'm Blind, I can't see."  While stumbling through the house, patting at the wall trying to find every light switch she could to turn them on.  But alas, no light was coming as she continued to yell "I'm Blind."  All of the sudden, the power outage ended, all the lights in the house went on, and she had realized that she had placed her sunglasses on while her parents, awoken from their daughter screaming, just looked at her.

I had a less dramatic, yet similar story.  Throughout the hill country of Judea there are many caves to explore.  We were waiting to go into the Mar Saba Monastery, a beautiful Greek Orthodox Monastery built 15 stories down from a ridge.  

As we waited, we started to explore the area around, only to find a cave that had been bricked up with a small entry point.  As I went into the cave, I couldn't see anything!  I was wondering what was taking my eyes so long to adjust.  I reached into my pocket to turn on my iPhone flashlight to help me see, but that did absolutely nothing.  Without yelling I'm blind, I felt a bit confused on why I couldn't see anything.  Then I realized it and I removed my sunglasses.

I bring this up because it hit me in my meditation that day.  Yes, there is darkness in the world, and yes sometimes we are caught in the midst of that darkness, but sometimes we actually contribute to our own blindness by putting on, deliberately or undeliberately, our sunglasses!  For me, as I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to me what my sunglasses were: he revealed to me a simple truth.  When I thought about myself; wants and desires - I would find myself alone and sad, along with anxiety with my upcoming diaconate ordination.  When I thought about God and His love for me, through the gift of my friends and families, I felt peace and joy, and there was excitement for my upcoming ordination!  My sunglasses, at least at this moment and meditation (I'm sure there are others), was a life centered on myself; to be self-absorbed in my wants and desires.

Please continue to pray for the 37 of us on this pilgrimage as we continue to seek the Lord, and I ask in a particular way to continue to pray, leading up my diaconate ordination, that I can get rid of my darn sunglasses! (metaphorically of course)

You have my prayers!

Pondering in My Heart - What Child is this

Today I had the opportunity to go to Shepherd's Field.  It's right on the edge of Kidron Valley, about a mile and a half out of Bethlehem.  It was there that the shepherds were greeted by angels, "Be not afraid; for behold I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David (Bethlehem) a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger" (Luke 2:10-12).  The shepherds went in haste and found the Holy Family in Bethlehem.

     

     After they told Mary what they had been told concerning the child from the angels, "Mary kept all these things in her heart" (Luke 2:19).  These words continue to reside in my own mind and heart as I try to comprehend the very foundation of the Incarnation, God becoming man.  We went to Shepherd's field and celebrated Mass.  Afterwards we had the opportunity to move along the fields including the ruins of a 4th century Byzantine Church. It was here (or at least in the proximity of this site) that the great news was proclaimed by the angels.  

(One of the many alters found on Shepherds field)

      Though it wasn't part of the program, I couldn't help, but like the shepherds, run in haste to find the birth place of my Lord.  I returned to the Church of the Nativity to once again gaze at the manger where Christ, God laid.  Once again, following the foot steps of Mary, I could only leave the experience pondering in my heart: What Child is this!

What Child is this who, laid to rest

On Mary’s lap is sleeping?

Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,

While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,

Whom shepherds guard and angels sing;

Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Why lies He in such mean estate,

Where ox and ass are feeding?

Good Christians, fear, for sinners here

The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,

The cross be borne for me, for you.

Hail, hail the Word made flesh,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,

Come peasant, king to own Him;

The King of kings salvation brings,

Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

Raise, raise a song on high,

The virgin sings her lullaby.

Joy, joy for Christ is born,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

The Manger where Christ laid!

From the Cisterns in the Desert to Living Streams

Today our pilgrimage did a day trip down south.  We drove down along the Dead Sea to make it to a rock and fortress formation named Masada.  King Herod built on this rock formation a fortress just in case he needed security.  It was protected by the desert on all sides and the closest body of water was the Dead Sea, which of course is undrinkable.  How was this fortress in the middle of the desert a good idea, if people were to live there (including 6-7 century Byzantine monks)? Deep Cisterns!  

(Just imagine this cistern being completely filled)

I could only think about that in the spiritual life.  In many cases throughout our life we go through dryness in our lives.  We encounter trials of sadness and difficulties.  Many times we feel that we are being attacked on all sides (bills, health, relationships)!  How are we to survive?  I can only look at these deep cisterns that would collect water for over long periods of time to sustain future life.  Masada is known to average about 2 inches of rain a year!  Just imagine the work it would take to fill this cistern!  The question's I can only ask, have I prepared in my life cisterns that will help sustain me in dryness or difficulty?  Am I taking the time to fill my cistern?  Am I ignoring that which will later sustain me? Am I taking time for prayer and reflection?  Am I reminding myself how the Lord has guided and protected me thus far? Are I working on building up my relationship with God to sustain all kinds of attacks? From any kind of losses or even death?  Don't wait to start developing a sustaining life in God, in Christ! 

After stopping at Masada, we drove back north to stop at the Ein Gedi - a life giving spring in the middle of the desert.  The only fresh water source in the area!  This brings light to another truth in the spiritual life.  Christ promises to give living water (John 4) to the Samaritan woman.  Not cistern water, which runs out and is dirt and mucky at the bottom, or well water that can eventually dry out.  Christ promises living water, something that is always fresh and always new!  How beautiful it was to see life growing in the middle of the desert!  It brings the spiritual question - has Christ become my living spring?  Have I allowed Christ to always renew me!  Do I trust, in the midst of the desert and troubles that the Lord will draw me to himself, the oasis, bringing new life!  

So in the end - cisterns are good (necessary in our work to get through difficult times), but we must always turn to the living waters that only God can provide?

"House of Bread" - Bethlehem

We arrived into Tel Aviv, Israel early in the morning to start our pilgrimage.  From the airport we were blessed to start our trip by visiting the town in which Christ was born.  The tour guide reminded us as we entered the town of Bethlehem, the meaning of the name: "House of Bread."  How beautiful our Christian faith is, Jesus Christ was born and later proclaimed, as he does today, "I am the bread of life."  

Today, I had the opportunity with other seminarians to visit the birth place of Christ at the Church of the Nativity.  The Church is shared with three Christian Traditions: Roman Catholics led by the Franciscans, the Greek Orthodox, and the Armenian Orthodox.  To enter the church leading to the Grotto (the place where Christ was born) you have to bow your head to enter the Church!  It's just like in the Mass, when we bow our heads during the Creed with a slight bow acknowledging the Incarnation of God: "and by the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin Mary, and became man."  

         Love always has the ability to capture.  And to say that my heart was captured by the Mass in the cave in which Christ was born is an understatement.  During the Mass I was pushed back into a cove because we were squeezing 20 guys into a small area.  I later found out that I was squeezed into the cove where Christ was laid in the manger.  I couldn't help, in the midst of the craziness and the crowd, even when I was unaware of it, the Lord was asking me to rest with him in the manger where he laid. There I was, after receiving our Lord in the Eucharist, bent completely over looking at the manger.  It was there that I lifted up a prayer to all the families I have encountered, for this was the place where the Holy Family began and resided.

        The Pilgrimage is just beginning, yet I believe one of the most powerful moments of this trip will be when I was able to receive Jesus Christ, the Bread of Life, in the town named "house of bread." It was there that the Lord was born and asked me to rest with him in the manger.  

Christmas season!

Today the Christmas season comes to a close!  I can't believe how fast the time went: from spending time in Naperville for Christmas, Belleville for New Years, Nashville for the FOCUS SEEK 2015 Conference, and finally Omaha for my 5 day required diaconate retreat.  Over this Christmas season God continued to bring about a clear message to me that is just fitting for Christmas: Only Christ can fill the emptiness.

The Church prepares for the Christmas in a season called Advent.  It is in the Advent season that the Church asks us to prepare for the coming of Christ.  The Church does this in her readings during the season, but in a profound way the Church lights 4 candles leading to Christmas.  These 4 candles are usually found in the Advent wreath.  For four weeks we light 4 candles (one a week) embedded in a wreath..  The Advent wreath is beautiful because each time we light an additional candle in the wreath, the hole in the center of the wreath becomes all the brighter.  It becomes more evident, not in the wreath, but in our very lives during the advent season that we are missing something; that their is an emptiness to be filled.  And what are we do fill the emptiness with?  Things? People? Job? Money? God reveals to us on Christmas day, that the hole we have in our lives was meant for Him alone.  And as we look for tangible and physical things to fill our loneliness, God comes into the world in a physical form as a small baby infant. 

It's in the manger that we find a baby.  It captures and draws us in, just like every baby we encounter.  In the the baby we see hope, joy, beauty.  Just like any baby born into the world, it needs to be tended to, nurtured and cared for.  Our relationship with Christ is no different.  We need to be attentive to Christ in our hearts and in our lives.  We need to nurture and care for that beautiful relationship that continues to reside in our hearts.

Though the Christmas season is over, it is never to late to fill the hole in our hearts by nurturing that one relationship that will end all loneliness.  Let us go like the great shepherds and the wise men to go encounter with Christ!  In the advice of St. Augustine let us bring our gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh; let us bring our gifts and talents, our prayers, and our sacrifices.

Diaconate Ordination Information Update!

Here are the details for my ordination:

On March 27th, 2015 at 6 PM at the St. Raymond Nonnatus, I with 4 other men will be ordained to the transitional (for I will be ordained a priest hopefully on May 21st, 2016) Diaconate.  The Ordination Mass will take about 2 hours and will be followed by a reception at the Cathedral.

St. Raymond Nonnatus Cathedral in Joliet, IL
Address is 604 N Raynor Ave, Joliet, IL 60435.

On Saturday March 28th my family will be hosting family and friends at our house from 1:00-4:30 PM. The address is 2292 Pontiac Circle, Naperville, IL 60565.

I'll be preaching and serving as a Deacon at Palm Sunday Vigil at St. Raphael's Catholic Church in Naperville. Followed by a light reception at the church. The address for the church is 1215 Modaff Road, Naperville 60540.

We may have those who are staying longer return to the house or the hotel where family is staying afterwards. Stay tuned!!!

Please know you have my prayers!

Michael

A Lonely Heart is Never Again Alone!

It's been a while, I know!  So I thought I would just do a short blog to hopefully do a little kick start and start posting more blogs :).

When I was studying out in Denver at the Augustine Institute, I came across the following quote:

The Sacrifice of Jesus accomplishes the Father's eternal plan to unite humanity with divinity...never again should we be alone, shut out or lost. When we are in shame or despair, and there seems no way out, Christ is waiting for us in silent love! ~ Olivier Clement (Roots of Christian Mysticism)

In my bible study, I always discuss 4 parts to a journey: (1)origin, (2)destination, (3)path, and (4)purpose.  When we lose our origin, we become lost.  When we lose our destination, we wander.  When we lose our path, we get frustrated.  And finally if we lose our purpose, we fall into despair.  This physical truth found in every journey is also true in the spiritual life!  This is why it is so important to know our spiritual foundations of who we are (origin).  It is also important to know where we are called to go, otherwise we wander which a lot of people have been doing in the spiritual life (destination).  Once the origin and destination is figured out, it is important to start the journey (the path).  Finally and most important, the drive to complete the journey in the face of difficulty,  especially the spiritual journey (the purpose).

The quote above from Olivier Clement reaffirms our purpose! We are never again to be alone and despair!  Jesus Christ locked in our destination (I'm going to prepare a place for you), he gave us the path (I am the way, truth and the life), he gave us the purpose - to be united God in Christ, in a particular way to be united to God in the suffering ( Remember "anyone who wants to follow me, pick up his cross and follow me").  

As I get closer to ordination and loneliness strikes, I constantly draw upon this quote.  Christ has not abandoned me.  And though I may feel alone, I'm not quite so lonely.  The Lord awaits in his silent love.  The Lord awaits in his Word, in the Eucharist, in his Body the Church.  We are not alone my friends.  Never again!  The Lord is waiting for you in the silence!  Amen.