A Blog About Nothing

I recently had the opportuninty to preach on Nothing.  It's a topic that I've been reflecting on as I continue to move toward my priestly ordination.  When we think of the word of nothing, we can take two approaches: we can think of it in the lens of men or of God.  

Man; being influenced by the devil, the world, and our own brokeness; has a negative understanding of the word.  The devil, wanting us to believe we are nothing in the eyes of God, wants us to abandon God and for us to live our life for ourselves.  The devil wants us to believe God doesn't have a purpose or a plan for our life, and therefore, we are to make of it what we want (a life lived selfishly).  The world brings its own influences to the word.  To the world, in particular a capitalist society, you need to contribute and produce.  And if you don't, you are nothing!  Where does this, however, leave the young, the old, those who are sick or disabled?  The world dismisses them or at least tolerates them.  And finally in our own brokenness and weaknesses; as I get older, it is clear that I'm not capable as I once was.  This can bring doubts and questions of the inabilities and nothingness the future might continue to hold for me.

In all the negative influences, you can see how the word NOTHING can be scary when it is directed to our very life!  Yet the Scriptures reveal something different about nothing!  In Genesis, it is revealed in the creation account, the Lord created the world out of nothing!  But it's not the only time the God takes nothing and creates something beautiful.  The entire story of Israel in the OT is filled with constant works of the Lord in the nothingness of Israel.  In the New Testament, the Lord continues to bring something beautiful out of nothing, just look at his miracles and calling of the Apostles.  Look at the story of St. Peter, the first shepherd of the Church: here is a man, who was a fisherman off the sea of Galilee.  There was nothing special about his life.  If anything it would be easy to say he was nothing (to the devil, to the world, and even to himself).  Yet the Lord chose him, and lifted him up to the first shepherd of the Church.  In Christ's very life, we see Christ on the Cross.   To the devil, the world, and even in our own doubts, we might say there is pointless, nothingness of the Lord suffering on the Cross. And yet that was a moment that our salvation was even possible, where are Lord poured out His life for us!  Today, the Lord still works in the beauty of the Church.  At Mass we look at the bread and wine, and once again we are confronted by the devil, world, and our brokeness, and want to claim that it's nothing.  But at the words of consecration of the priest, through Jesus Christ, that bread and wine become his Body and Blood!  That nothingness becomes our everything!

We are constantly confronted that the Lord is active and working in our nothingness! If we are looking in the lens of the Lord, it should begin to excite us when we are confronted by our doubts, our brokenness, our weaknesses, our nothingness!   Because it is precisely in that moment that we know and see God at work in our lives! For only God can create something out of our nothingness.  This is why I'm getting excited about my priestly ordination not because God is choosing me because of all I have and been given, but because He is going to draw great and beautiful things out of me that which is nothing.

Forget the Valentine's Card, Isn't My Presence Enough?

It's amazing the things the Lord will draw up in prayer.  At my Diaconate Ordination I promised to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, which is a set of prayers that you pray throughout the day; 5 sets to be exact.  I was praying what is known as the Office and Morning Prayer in the Chapel and the Lord brought me back to 13 years ago when I was in College.

At the end of my sophomore year and into most of my Junior year I dated this amazing Catholic woman named Katie.  She had become my college sweet heart as we spent most of our time together outside of the Newman center, Mass, and school.  Through my junior year, my engineering academics began to pick up especially in my second semester with Quantum Physics, Thermodynamics, Material science class and lab to just to name a few classes that I remember.  Needless to say, the amount of time needed to spend on my class work was pretty high.  Katie understanding this during the start of February and our upcoming first Valentine's day celebration simply told me, "Michael, I know that you are really busy and I don't expect much for Valentine's Day, if you just get me a card I will be happy."  What a great girlfriend right?

Well leading up to Valentine's day, which fell on a Saturday, Katie's Grandfather passed away.  During the week, her family picked her up and they went off to Ohio for the wake and funeral.  So when she returned on Friday evening, I made the promise to myself to not let my homework or lab reports to get in the way our Valentine's day.  I woke up on Saturday (probably around 10 AM it was a college schedule) and spent all day with her from lunch, to a park even in the cold, dinner, and movie to end the night.  After about 12 hours and before we had to say goodnight, Katie started to cry.  She said to me, "Michael, all I asked from you was a card, and you didn't even do that!"  I, out of frustration, tried to explain to Katie, that my Valentine's day gift was clearing my entire day, WASN'T MY PRESENCE ENOUGH?

Fast forward to last Saturday as I'm praying my Liturgy of the Hours!  The Lord brought light into my own brokenness.  The Lord pointed to all the things I have asked for and how I was caught up in my own tears and frustration with the Lord not answering my requests. Yet the Lord asked me in a simple phrase, with this story in mind, ISN'T MY PRESENCE ENOUGH?  

Needless to say, I sat there silent.  

Calculus and Faith!

When I was young, math always came easy to me.  It started with Mrs. Todd teaching me the multiplication table in 2nd grade, and continued into Mrs. Lehman's 3rd grade bi-weekly quizzes that I would always ace!  This continued through honor's math through middle school.  But there did come a time when math became difficult and I didn't actually understand the material.  It was in Calculus when numbers were traded in with letters and from the graphs and equations we had to derive or integrate!  I recall a clear moment leading up to my first calculus exam where nothing made sense.  I spent hours with my classmates studying and preparing for the exam.  Maybe it was the Lord's prayers and a divine Grace, but the night before the exam, I can actually recall the place and moment, something happened.  Everything seemed to click!  I understood Calculus!!! (or at least the material for the first exam, there were many more hours of studying to come).





(Mr. Braun's Calc BC Class! I'm in the front with the vest - just look at that hair :)

It was clear in calculus as it is in my faith, some times we don't always understand things right away.  And sometimes we need to put ourselves into a position to understanding through work!

My oldest sister, Suzie, understands this!  Even though my nephew is enjoying his summer vacation, he still is required by his mom, my sister, to read 20 minutes a day and do daily math problems!  Why?  My sister understands that Liam, through reading and doing math problems, will grow in comprehension and problem solving!  What if Liam, my nephew, were to come up to his mom and say, "Mom, I'm just not getting anything out of reading and doing math problems, and I'd rather play video games?"  You can only imagine his mother's response, "Tough!" My sister knows, that even if Liam can't see his progress and growth in his comprehension and problem solving, he is improving and putting himself into a position to succeed in school!

These stories came to mind as I read the Gospel for this past weekend (John 6:41-51).  The Jews began to murmur against Jesus!  These were the same people who followed Jesus, saw his miracles, and had their fill with the multiplication of the loaves.  In the next couple of Sunday readings of the Gospel, we will see those same Jews leave Jesus because they don't understand him!  But guess what?  The Apostles, those who stick with Jesus, didn't understand him either!  Jesus asks them at the end of chapter 6, if they too will leave (Jn 6:67).  It is clear that the Apostles throughout the Gospels didn't understand the Lord, yet they remained with him. Maybe they knew, like my studying for my calculus exam, that they would eventually understand.  Or maybe they knew, like my sister with her son, that they might not see their growth, but are actually growing closer to God!  Either case it involved the Apostles staying with the Lord!

I have encountered many fallen away Catholics.  Many say, "I just don't get anything out of Mass; from the music, to the homilies (not mine of course), to the Eucharist."  What is my response?  It's similar to my sister's response, but maybe with a little more charity; "Tough!"  Just because you don't feel like your getting anything out of Mass doesn't mean you should stop going!  You should work all the more to try to understand what is going on, through personal study or preparation for the Mass.  And you need to trust that the Lord is working even when you don't see it!  Don't be like those who left the Lord because they didn't understand!


So don't be discouraged if you go to Mass and feel like your getting nothing out of it!  Continue to trust that the Lord is working on your heart even when you don't see it, and that He will reveal Himself to us in the Breaking of the Bread! (cf. Luke 24:35)