Chocolate Milk and the Holy Spirit

Growing up as a kid I can remember the many joys of going into the fridge grabbing our 2% milk, Hershey syrup along with a glass and spoon.  It didn't take a scientist or theologian to know what was going to happen next.  But I thought I would provide a visual!

Chocolate milk!!!  

Needless to say, as long as there was Hershey syrup in the fridge, milk was always going to be in high demand!  Little did I know my favorite drink when I was little (lets be honest, even now!) would be a great theological lesson on the presence of Holy Spirit/God in my life!

Our lives are like the milk!  And the chocolate syrup represents the Holy Spirit that The Lord pours into our lives!!!  What happens when we enter into relationship with God and the Church through Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation?  We are infused with the Holy Spirit!  We actually become temples of the Holy Spirit! But many people wonder why they don't see the effects or the change in receiving the Sacraments.  And many people point to the hypocrisy of many Christian's out there.  It's not that God isn't there.  Believe me He is there.  We just need the spiritual spoon to bring it into our lives!  

Think about this, when I was a kid and I poured the chocolate syrup into my glass of milk, I didn't just let the syrup sit on the bottom of the glass.  If I did that, very little of the chocolate would make it into the milk.  And if I were to drink the glass of milk, the chocolate syrup would have been wasted.

Think of this, Christ came and proclaimed that he came to give us life, life to the full (abundance).  What The Lord is actually saying in translation - I have come to give you not a life of regular milk, but something that is sweet and awesome.  I've come to make chocolate milk!  How sweet is that!  But it can't just be a passive effort in just receiving Baptism, Eucharist, or Confirmation.  Just receiving these Sacraments without stirring is a waste of the gift The Lord wants to give you. 

The Lord will ask for us to account of the gift He gave us!  He will ask us if we took the time to stir up the Holy Spirit.  We will be asked to account for the chocolate syrup in our milky lives.  Was our lives transformed?  Did we keep the glass stirred?

The interesting thing about the chocolate syrup and milk analogy is that I had to keep the spoon in the glass.  After every sip, I would continue to stir the glass!  Why?  So that I would enjoy every last drop of chocolate milk, otherwise the syrup would eventually make its way to the bottom of the glass only to be wasted and washed down the sink.  We have to keep stirring our hearts for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  We can't remain passive in our faith.  Otherwise the Holy Spirit, like the syrup will be wasted.  How do we stir up the Holy Spirit in our lives?  Take time for prayer; be open for the movements of The Lord in our lives.  Go to Confession!  Seek constantly the grace of forgiveness and mercy that The Lord wants to give you.  Go to Mass, receive The Lord in the Scriptures and in the Liturgy of the Eucharist!  Allow The Lord to work presently in your life, start offering yourself up to The Lord!  

I guarantee if you do that, your life will be transformed and a whole lot sweeter!  

World Wrestling Federation, Cancer, and the Spiritual Life

When I was in grade school I was fascinated with WWF - no not World Wide Fund with the Panda as a logo, but World Wrestling Federation! Who wouldn't be drawn to wrestling character's like the Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Macho Man Randy Savage?!?  

I remember heading to my next door neighbor's house where my best friend lived trying to collect whatever savings I had and begging the parents for money to watch the pay-per-view event of Wrestle-Mania and/or Royal Rumble!  Even with scripted story lines, men not wearing enough clothes, there was something about it that attracted and still attracts people. 

It wasn't later in my studies of the Scriptures that I discovered a possible answer to why I was/still am driven to wrestling: It is because I wrestle with God constantly!  January has been a time for me to go around to various parishes and schools to share my vocation story and discernment towards the priesthood with people of all ages from 2nd graders to adults.  When ever I share my vocation story of how I entered the seminary, I usually turn to the passage of Jacob in the Old Testament.  In that story, I believe it reveals the real beauty in coming to one's vocation, which includes married life, religious life, priesthood, and the single life through wrestling with God!

Jacob's story is unique.  First we need to understand the importance of Jacob's life.  Jacob is seen as one of the great patriarch's of the Jewish Faith.  Constantly the scriptures refer to God with reference to Jacob (the reference usually God introducing himself as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob).  Second, his story doesn't seem quite holy or saintly.  Jacob's very name means trickster or one who grabs the heal.  Jacob was a twin, but his brother Esau was born first.  This guaranteed Esau a birth rite (twice the inheritance) and a Blessing given to him by his father right before he passes.  Jacob gets his brother Esau to sell his birth rite, and then later Jacob tricks his father, Isaac to give him Esau's blessing!  Not fair I know, but Jacob will later be tricked not only by his Father-in-law, but his own children.

Jacob now has a problem after stealing Esau's blessing.  Esau is described as a very strong man and hunter, while Jacob remained in the tent and cooked with his mom.  The Scripture directly calls Jacob a momma's boy.  Well after stealing Esau's blessing, Jacob runs from his father's land only to discover Rachel, a woman he desired to marry.  Jacob after working 7 years for Rachel's hand in marriage is tricked by his father-in-law and Jacob marries Leah, Rachel's older sister.  Jacob serves an additional 7 years to earn Rachel's hand in marriage.  Eventually Jacob will have 12 sons with 4 different women (talk about drama in the house of Jacob).

To make a long story short; after Jacob has started a large family 11 sons at the time, he's kicked out of his father-in-law's land, and is forced to face his stronger brother Esau.  You can only imagine what's going through Jacob's mind, let alone questioning God's plan for his life.  This is where the story gets interesting.  In chapter Genesis 32, at night Jacob sends his family, servants, and flock to the other side of the river.  The Scripture is clear, Jacob is ALONE!  But wait...right after it says that he is alone, Jacob starts wrestling with someone.  Confusing right?  Is he alone or not?  As we continue to read the story we discover he is wrestling with God!  

If that isn't crazy enough, Jacob has the God in a head lock for most of the night.  I can now imagine because of my love for WWF and the various wrestling matches between Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, I can see all the kidney shots, elbows, kicks, and pushing that was involved that night.  But Jacob is relentless, he will not let go! (not quite the momma's boy now).  Even though Jacob is control for most of the night, God pulls a reversal: "he touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled him" (Gen 32:25).  Jacob now realizes who he is wrestling with and who's really in control.  Jacob asks God for His blessing and he receives a new name Israel, which means "May God Prevail."

What an amazing story of discernment, which involves wrestling with God!  The story speaks right into my own life and how I've wrestled (and continue to wrestle) with God.  Like the story of Jacob, the Lord allows me to maintain control of the wrestling.  I keep The Lord in the head lock and I make the decisions of my life.  It was the one who decided to go college for an engineering degree. It was I who decided that I would do missionary work for the Catholic Church with FOCUS.  But like the story of Jacob, the Lord pierced my side with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  No longer was I in control of my decisions, my life, or even if my chemo would have any affects on the cancer. All I could do was let go of the headlock and say the prayer: Israel - May God Prevail!

This story of wrestling is not just a story of Jacob, or me, but a story for all of humanity.  We all wrestle with God in someway or another.  We all take control over our lives and dictate the direction by our own desires and wants.  But what is certain in all of life is the Lord will come into our lives and pull a reversal move and reveal who is ultimately in control.  Let us instead of resisting the Lord in our lives, let us work on making our life a complete surrender to Him!  Israel: May God Prevail!  

Time for Dinner; My Temper Tantrum

I wrote about this when I was a missionary at the University of Colorado. 

When I was little, my sister's and I had the first 16-bit Nintendo system complete with Mario Bros!  Let me tell you about a tragic and scarring story of my life: I was in the middle of rescuing Princess from the hands of Bowser when my mom came into the room, turned off the game, and said it was time for dinner.  Oh, I was angry!  My attempt to conquer the world with my fingers and save the girl was thwarted by my mom.  At the time my response was "Really??? How important is it that I eat dinner with my family?"  Of course this may seem like an exaggeration, but clearly I remember the story 25 years later.  Besides revealing my own brokenness at the age of 8, it also reveals the following: we can get attached in false worlds, like Worlds 1 - 8 in Mario bros., which only leads to frustration when we are brought back to reality, to life.   

Now I know this is just a video game, let alone a 16-bit video game, but think of all the other false worlds out there that we try to conquer.  No longer are we jumping over enemies and obstacles from  World 1-8.  We are now taking on the worlds of Facebook and Twitter.  In these worlds we are able to project to the world only those beautiful things about our life and never any flaws???  Besides social networking, we take on the World of life.  In this game we, like mario, collect money hoping to extend our chances in life.  We try to gain more power and prestige, maybe by achieving fire Mario, hoping maybe one day we will achieve the all invincible star.

You know what eventually happens to all those who play those games?  The game is turned off and they are forced to go to Dinner, or at least they come face to face to God, who is responsible for the ultimate family dinner!

Do you realize that the Lord is calling us NOW to a dinner?!?  Not just any kind of dinner, but a banquet!  Jesus is not only host (priest) of the banquet, but also the meal itself (the Sacrifice).  How many of us, when it comes to Sunday (or any other day) would rather have our heads down trying to conquer the various Worlds around us?  No matter how many Worlds we conquer (facebook, money, power, material desires), it doesn't compare to the dinner prepared for us by God!

The Lord has worked two ways in my life:  First, the Lord has been patient with me and have given me multiple invitations to join Him for the banquet, but after a while of not heeding to His invitation, The Lord, like my mom, breaks through my various worlds and turns off the game.  Of course, my response to the Lord is similar to the way I responded to my mother.  I respond in frustration because all the time I put into the game was just taken away from me.  All the time taken to build up a chance is torn away and wasted.  

Take a moment now and think of all the stories of people that have had that happen!  How many people have the Lord taken away people's money, prestige, and power.  And how do they usually respond? 

Let's all aim detach us from the worlds we have connected ourselves too.  Either the worlds found in social networking, or even all the ideas that we do no need the Lord because we can collect our own money, prestige, and power.  Let's try not to react in frustration, when the Lord calls us to His Banquet!  Let's start to eagerly work on responding to the invitation that Jesus Christ!  The Banquet has been prepared for us in the Scripture, in Prayer, and completed in the the sacrifice of the Mass!  As it is said in the Sacrifice of the Mass, let us aim to be transformed "with him, in him, and through Him!"  

Oh and have no fear in the end the devil (Bowser) loses and Christ (Mario) rescues his Bride, the Church (Princess).

Even in My Own Sin and Brokenness, God Pursues Me!

"Nothing can stop [God], neither our faults nor our falls, absolutely nothing.  Jesus hurries to help that soul; and if the soul is faithful to this grace from God, she can in a short time reach the highest level of holiness that a created being can attain here below." ~ St. Faustina Kowalska

One of the great myteries of the Christian faith is how God's providence can work with our sin and brokenness?   God acknowledges our freedom and does not force Himself upon us. Yet God doesn't leave us in our sin and brokenness, He pursues us all the more, specifically in our sin and brokenness.  How beautiful is that pursuit!?!

One Scripture passage that points to this pursuit is 1 Samuel 8.  Samuel, a prophet and priest for the Israelites, is confronted by the disheartened Israelites.  Looking around at nearby kingdoms, the Israelites request/demand from Samuel that he anoints them a king.  Samuel is broken-hearted feeling he has failed God.  God, however, encourages Samuel and says, "Hearken to the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them." (1 Sam 8:7)

The Scripture makes it clear:

God respects Man's free will even when that free will includes man's rejection of Him.

What does God do with their decision? Does he reject Israel as they rejected Him?  Does he search out another tribe to fulfill His promises?  He gives Israel a king (Saul and then David).  As a loving Father, He acknowledges and works within the context of Man's freedom.  He doesn't reject them, but He works within Man's rejection.  If we continue to read the Scriptures in their fulfillment we see God through man's rejection of Him once again becomes King of Kings and Lord of Lords! (cf. Revelation 19:16) 

Even in man's sin and brokenness, God doesn't abandon humanity.  He doesn't leave us to our sin, but works within our freedom to fulfill His Providence!!!  I don't know about you, but this brings me tremendous peace!  In my own sin, failures, brokenness, in my own rejections of God; God does not abandon me, but continues to pursues me!

Isn't it beautiful to know that God is not competing with our decisions, but working to draw us to Him all the more.

"Nothing can stop [God], neither our faults nor our falls, absolutely nothing.  Jesus hurries to help that soul; and if the soul is faithful to this grace from God, she can in a short time reach the highest level of holiness that a created being can attain here below." ~ St. Faustina Kowalska

Another Year for Resolutions - Another Year to Discover God's Will!

It's amazing how every New Year brings with it another year of resolutions!  Another year is set to re-discover and reclaim for ourselves those things we desire.  Everyone in their own way desire to (re)discover the purpose of their life!  

I recently came across a beautiful quote from Pope Benedict XVI: 

"Each of us is WILLED, each of us is LOVED, each of us is NECESSARY!" 

If we are willed, loved, and necessary, then we need to ask why did God's will us? Why are we necessary?  I believe the New Year's resolution is touching a deep desire to understand that God created us out of His will and His love, and that we are necessary!  It is a time to discover God's plan for us!

This past fall, I was blessed to study JPII's "Theology of the Body."  The book is made up of a collection of 129 lectures he gave over Wednesday audiences from Sept. 1979 to Nov. 1984. He addressed the understanding of the human person, in light of human sexuality.  In reading a few lectures for class, I discovered a theme that resounds in my life of discovering God's plan for me!  Pointing to a necessary New Year's resolution. 

JPII presented the following;

In the beginning...
A. God's plan involved creating man and woman for "Himself"
B. Man/Woman was given free will
C. It was in free will man and woman discovers the beauty of "gift of self" to the other (self-gift)

But something happened! In Original sin, the human condition was disordered.  Now enters Concupiscence (a big theological term describing the disorder found in man and woman's will).  JPII writes, "by violating the dimension of the mutual gift of the man and the woman, concupiscence also casts doubt on the fact that each of them is willed by the Creator "for himself." (General Audience 32.5)

The result follows!
C'. Man/Woman fails in self-gift (through failure of self-mastery and putting self over the other)
B'. Man/Woman questions his/her free-will along with losing their free will through slavery to sin.
A'. Man/Woman questions God's plan or even worse, numbs themselves to the idea that there is no purpose/plan for their lives.

Note the reversal found from the original plan for Man and Woman.

After discovering this fact, I recalled all the times I questioned my own vocation.  Felt lost without purpose or control of my life!  It was the time that I failed to give myself completely over to others as a self-gift, when I was self centered, it was when I became enslaved to sin, which followed with questioning God's plan in my life!    It's only when I made a resolve to make myself a self-gift to others, that I freed myself through prayer and Sacraments (Reconciliation and Eucharist), and rediscovered God's plan for myself and the ability to surrender myself to others.

The New Year's is upon us!  A new year to reclaim God's plan, our free will, and make ourselves a self gift!  Through the Grace of Christ, through the Sacrament of reconciliation and the Eucharist, we have the ability of rediscover the fact: 

"Each of us is WILLED, Each of us is LOVED, Each of us is NECESSARY!"

God does have a plan for us!  

The Lonely Life: My Greatest Fear and Yet it is Where the Lord Calls Me (all of us)

The greatest fear I constantly face while I'm in the seminary studying for the Catholic Priesthood is the fear of loneliness.  Choosing the Catholic Priesthood means choosing a celibate life!  Of course, we associate celibacy with loneliness because it is surrounded by choosing a single life.  Celibacy seems unnatural and undesired.  In all honesty, I too struggle with the idea of celibacy and if called to accept it, celibacy would be a huge sacrifice.  Why do I struggle?  Well, it usually starts with the following questions that arise in my heart: What if I become lonely in my ministry?  What if I fall in love (which I can almost guarantee will happen)?  I then turn to Scripture to build my argument against celibacy even further to match my questions: "It's not good for man to be alone" (Gen 2:18).  Wow, why am I in the seminary and pursuing celibacy again?!?! :)

Then I realize loneliness is not a celibacy issue, it's a human issue.  We all encounter loneliness in a very intense way.   We face times of isolation.  Pope Benedict actually names isolation as the greatest form of poverty in the world. (cf. Charity in Truth, paragraph 53).  We encounter loneliness even when we have the most intimate relationships.  I had a priest share with me a very powerful insight, "You think being single and lonely is tough, think about those who are married and still find themselves lonely even though they have someone inches away from them."

If loneliness is an issue for everyone, then what are we to do?  It seems we can't run away from loneliness, or there is no real answer out there.   I recently came across the following Scripture passage that may give us insight; Matthew 14:13-21.  Jesus just heard about the beheading of St. John the Baptist (a quite disturbing story).  Jesus desires to withdrawal from the crowds because of the death of his cousin, but also the reality that he too would have to face death (cf. Mt 16:21, Jesus announces to his Apostles he too will die shortly afterwards).

It says in Matthew 14:13 that Jesus withdrew to a lonely place.  The only problem is the crowd follows him, with compassion he turns toward the crowd and heals their sick.  What really captures me is in verse 15.  As the day comes to the close, the disciples seeing the crowds try to give advice to the Lord; "This is a lonely place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away into the villages and buy food for themselves."  Jesus responds to his disciples, "you give them something to eat."  The disciples are dumbfounded for they have only 5 loaves and 2 fish, but Jesus reveals a plan that will be the foundation of the Church and give us insight how to face our own loneliness!

Jesus took, blessed, broke, and gave the loaves and fishes to the disciples to then go out to and feed the crowd; over 5,000 were fed!  What does this have to do with anything?   Without going into a full out Scripture study, the feeding of the thousand stories found in all 4 Gospels uses the same language of the Last Supper, and are connected to the same words we use in the Mass!  Do these words sound familiar? "At the time he was betrayed and entered willingly into his passion he took bread and, giving thanks (blessed), broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying "take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is my Body which will be given up for you.""  If you attend Mass, the words should remind you of the Eucharistic prayer said at most Masses.  If you read the Scriptures, it should remind you St. Paul explaining the instruction he had received from the Lord; 1 Cor 11:23,24.

While the disciples wanted to dismiss the crowd from the lonely place to go back into the world, the Lord wanted them to do what?  He wanted the crowd to remain in the lonely place with Him so that he could fill their hunger!  He wanted to fill their loneliness!  With what?  With ordinary bread?  No, he wanted to fill them with the Bread from Heaven.  He wanted to fill them with Himself!!!

What a beautiful reality to the solution of loneliness: Jesus Christ draws us to a lonely place.  It is there that turns toward us with compassion and heals us.  It there he feeds us and fulfills us.  Even though we ourselves look elsewhere to be fed, only Jesus Christ through the Church, built on the foundation of the Apostles, can truly feed us with the bread from heaven; the Eucharist!  (Note that after he takes, blesses it, breaks the loaves, he gives it to the disciples to distribute)

Do I still get lonely in the seminary?  Yes!  Do I still struggle and desire to leave this lonely place I constantly find myself in?  Yes!  But I'm reminded, it is not in the world that my hungers and desires are fulfilled!  It actually in this lonely place the Lord draws me, has compassion toward me, and heals me. It is in the lonely place where the Lord feeds me, nourish me, and gives me Himself! Next time you feel lonely don't try to run away from it with worldly things or distractions; go to the Lord in prayer, read the Scriptures, and if all possible, go to Mass!

Just Call Me Goldi-Locks: I just didn't eat the Porridge

This past weekend I returned to the blessed state of Colorado to be a Groomsmen for a marriage of some FOCUS missionary friends.  Now Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Samantha (Davenport) Rothschild.  And just like any long hours of traveling, your bound to get a crazy story! Here's mine!

Before the Wedding and After wedding pictures!  I was blessed to do a mission to El Salvador with both of them in June

So my trip started with waking up at 3 AM (2 AM Mountain Time) to leave for the airport at 3:30 in the morning.  My father graciously picked me up from the seminary the night before to drive me in.  I arrived to the airport with plenty of time to do my morning prayers and to relax before getting on the plane.  I got on the plane and before I know it I started talking to the passenger right next to me.  She started asking questions that I would usually start with... "So are you coming or going?  Is Denver your home?"  Which of course I explained, Colorado use to be my home for the past three years, but I have returned to my studies.  She continued to ask where, so I responded, St. Mary of the Lake University, I'm studying to be a Catholic Priest, when she replied, "Oh my former boy-friend is a Catholic Seminarian."  To my surprise for this is not a common response (especially on top of the fact that she wasn't Catholic).  Turns out, I actually knew her former boyfriend.  Needless to say I should of known the trip was going to be crazy/great from the get go.

When I landed and got my rental car, I decided to feed my coffee addiction because of my early morning and another 2 hour drive to get to my next destination.  I found myself at a local Starbucks.  Little did I know I that I would run into a Missionary's sibling working there.  She recognized my FOCUS logo jacket and it started a short and exciting conversation.

I made my to Pueblo, CO for Mass, tuxedo fitting/pickup, and lunch, only to find out that the plan was to do the Rehearsal at 5 PM, Dinner at 7 PM, and men's night with fire and beer until 11:30.  Realizing that I would need to at least get a nap I asked Christopher if I could slip away for mid afternoon siesta.  A former missionary also joined me because he needed to shower and clean up for the rehearsal.  In order to save some cost, the groomsmen were invited by a FOCUS Mission Partner (Someone who has supported Samantha in her mission with FOCUS) to stay at their place.  Christopher explained the place to have a basement with 2 queen size beds.  Through his iPhone he shared the pin drop of the house and explicitly said to go to the pin drop (location on the GPS map).  He also shared their contact information so that I could call ahead and let the owner know that I was coming.  After making my way from Pueblo to Rye, CO, which was another 40 minute drive, I called the owner 20 minutes out.  Told him I was coming, he shared his excitement to have us.

So I pulled up to the house, entered the basement door saying my dad's traditional entrance tune, "hello to the house, hello to the house."  I made my way upstairs to meet the owner, only to find the owner of the house sleeping on the lazy boy watching TV.  Not wanting to disturb the our hose, I turned around noticed the 8 shotguns and rifles on his near by gun rack.  I discovered the 2 queen size beds as Chris described and jumped on the top of the covers to take a short nap, while the other groomsmen was about to clean up.  The bed was so comfortable and I knew it wouldn't take long to be completely asleep, when I heard the other groomsmen introducing himself to the owner of the house.  Before I knew it, Michael knocked on my door, exclaiming "Michael, we are at the wrong House!!!"  I jumped out of bed, fumbled through my phone to try to explain to the owner and his son why were at the house and that we were suppose to stay at the Power's house.   Little did we notice, the sign that said at the basement door, welcome to the Decker's House.  Apologizing profusely, the older son jumped on his 4 wheeler to take us up further up the mountain to the Power's House.  Needless to say, I didn't get my nap in because my heart was pounding from the mistake.  What would of happened if the groomsmen jumped into shower?  Would I have been met with the shotgun?
All I can say is, "at least I didn't eat the porridge!"

My lesson and Theological point for this blog:  Don't sleep in a stranger's bed!