Label Maker + Finding Out My Sister's Crush = My Sister's Nightmare (Need for our Invitation to God)

When I was in 6th grade, I happened to find out who my sister's high school freshmen date was to her homecoming dance.  His name was John Hall.  What does a 6th grader do with that information, especially a 6th grader that had an old school label maker (new at the time)?

Maybe I would write "Tina likes John Hall!" a hundred times.  And maybe I took those labels and placed them all over her books, folders, and make-up compact mirror?  Needless to say my sister spent the rest of the following week discovering these gifts of love!

Now that I am a little older I can reflect back and see how I was a nightmare to my sister, Tina.  It also probably explained the fact why my sister seemed to be a little more secretive about her future crushes.   Also, as I look back, I saw myself trying to jump into my sister's life.  Being the youngest sibling with two older sisters, I remember my sisters bringing their friends over to the house.  I would invade their space wanting to be apart of their friendships.  But that's not how friendships are formed or love received.

When I think of love, specifically the love of God, God doesn't invade our space, He patiently waits for our invitation for Him to enter into our lives.  He waits during our greatest joys and most tragic parts of our lives for that invitation.

I saw this in my ministry this summer.  I was blessed to be a chaplain at a hospital in central Illinois.  It was interesting how I would get many different reactions to my knocking at their door; some people were openly happy for my visit, while others told me "goodbye" before I could say anything else (which I graciously left).  My hope was not to invade into their life (like when I was in 6th grade), but enter into their life and hospital room through their invitation.  

There is one patient that stands out in particular.  She wasn't really practicing any faith.  She was raised somewhat Christian when she was younger, but stopped practicing and going to any church long ago.  She was in her mid 30's, her life was turned upside down and was not like anything she had ever planned.  She was diagnosed with an incurable illness that could only be treated by heavy medication.  She no longer had communication with or support from her family, and her friends had abandoned her because she could no longer contribute to their social activities.  I entered the room asking if I could sit and talk, she said yes.  And for the next two hours we talked about life, difficulties, and faith.  At the end of my visit, I was clear that I couldn't promise healing of the body (though I would pray for that), but I did point to one important fact from this visit; the power of the invitation before her!   I pointed to the fact that her illness opened up the opportunity for our conversation.  For by her own admittance, she said she would have never talked to me if she was perfectly healthy.  I told her that her illness, though not a direct act of God (that God desired her illness), opened her heart to an invitation to God and the Christian faith once more.

Coming back on retreat, I can't help but to continue to pray for that patient and that 2 hour conversation we had.  And on retreat I came across this beautiful meditation of God and humanity; God does not force Himself upon us.  The Incarnation points to this reality.  First, God asks Mary if she would be the vessel in which the Word would become flesh.  It is only after her yes that she becomes pregnant with the Son of God.  

It's a beautiful thing how gentle and patient The Lord is with us.  He's not abrupt trying to invade our personal space, but God does have His labels over all of creation.  The Lord is waiting for our open invitation to let Him enter.  I'm so glad that God is not like me, especially when I was in 6th Grade!  Needless to say, Tina no longer likes John Hall.  However there may be one or two more labels to be found in her old high school folders.  

Beauty of Being Chosen!

it's very hard for a kid in today's culture of sports and activities not to come across times when captains are selected and the anxiety of being chosen begins.  Now in my own experience, if I was good at the sport, it always felt great to see the disappointment of the other captain's face when he couldn't choose me, while at the same time, it was very difficult to swallow my pride when I was chosen last. It was as if people were bluntly telling me that I was not wanted and the feeling of rejection pierced my heart!

This desire to be chosen (or the feeling of not being chosen) does not only find itself in games and sports, but also in love!  How beautiful and exciting it is when you fall in love and the person you have fallen for has also chosen you!  I recently had a friend, on the day of her wedding say to her spouse, "I choose you!"  The words every spouse wants to hear from their loved ones.  All love stories are based on the idea of being chosen by the other.  

This desire to be chosen is no different in the areas of our faith!  It is also an area that we constantly forget about!  We need to remind constantly that the Lord, God has chosen us!  I recently came across the following quote:  

"This is one way of stating the difference between gods and men.  Gods choose; men are chosen.  What men lose when they become as free as gods is precisely that sense of being chosen, which encourages them, in their gratitude, to take their subsequent choices seriously" - Philip Rieff, The Triumph of the Therapeutic

In a society with strong emphasis on freedom, we have become as free as gods (being able to choose many things in life).  But by being caught up in the ability to choose, we actually lose something very important; the excitement of being chosen.  This story of the human person isn't new!  Actually we see this explained in the story of Adam and Eve, where the serpent tempts them to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil so that they would become like God!  In grasping after that freedom, they lose their identity of being chosen as God's children.  

The Christian faith reversing the conditions of the fall points to this redeemed reality - that God has chosen us!  John 15:16 - "You did not choose me, but I who chose you!"  God has chosen us!  God who is love, has revealed his love for us in Christ!   He sent his only Son for us!  God continually chooses to bring us into communion of persons in the Trinity. This simple understanding should leave us speechless, smiling, and finding great joy!  

If we are struggling to smile or finding ourselves with lack of joy, we need to remind ourselves of those times that God's love has been revealed his love for us, we were reminded of being chosen.  We need to remind ourselves of the story of Christ, when God made the decision to act within human history and intervene on our behalf and reveal His love for us!  

Let us call to mind John 15:16 - "You did not choose me, but I who chose you!" and proceed to jump and down in excitement!  God has chosen us!

I Want My Flesh-Pots!!! The Need for the Eucharist, the True Bread from Heaven!

I recently taught my 8th grade students at MTCA, while I was on my internship assignment, the similarities between the story of Israel and the story of our lives.  

The following picture was drawn not so neatly on the dry erase board!

Israel was enslaved for 400 years in Egypt just as God told Abraham in Genesis 15:13.  [Side note: 400 = 40 (means a generation or a person's lifetime) x 10 (means completeness).  Therefore, 400 years of slavery represents a complete lifetime of slavery]  The Israelites were freed from sin and slavery when Moses guides the Israelites through the Red Sea.  It was in that same action, that the Egyptian armies pursued the Israelites into the Red Sea, only to be killed in the water.  The action reveals God's freeing action of the Israelites from sin and slavery.  The Israelites spend the next 40 years in the desert. [remember 40 years represent a generation or a person's lifetime] only to be led through another body of water, the Jordan river, into the promise land.

How does this relate to our lives?  Like the Israelites, we too were born into a complete sin and slavery, known as Original Sin.  We too, like the Israelites, are saved by passing through the waters, the waters of Baptism.  It's in this saving act, we are SENT on our journey toward the promise land, which is Heaven.  It's only after spending a lifetime of journeying toward the promise land, that we pass through another water, which death, that leads us to Heaven!  

But the comparison doesn't stop there. After sharing the foundation of Israel's story with the students, I continued to point out deeper! If we actually read Israel's story closer, we would see that the Israelites were attached to their life of sin and slavery.  They actually constantly doubted the Lord and wanted to turn back to Egypt.  [This is revealed in the creation of the Golden Calf, an Egyptian god, found in Exodus 32].   The Israelites would prefer going back to Egypt, which includes sin and slavery, than live a life that had them constantly trusting in The Lord's providence.  Take in mind, that this is still after the Israelites saw the power of God through the 10 plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the pillar of smoke in the day time, and the pillar of fire at night; the Israelites continued to complain to Moses:

"Would that we had died by the hand of The Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger" ~ Exodus 16:3

The fleshpots were believed to be huge stew-pots made up of swine meat.  To the Jews, these fleshpots were prohibited because swine were seen as unclean animals and should not be eaten. The Israelites, in a sense, would rather live a life of sin and slavery, than continue the difficult road of life trusting in the Lord in the desert. 

How true is that in our life!?!  Though we have been saved by the waters of Baptism, and in many cases have been sealed by the gifts of the Holy Spirit through the Sacrament of Confirmation, we find ourselves desiring to go back to the slavery of sin.  Rather than trusting in the Lord's company and providence, we constantly desire to seek out pleasures that would draw us away from God.  G.K Chesterton hits this point right on the head, when he stated, "Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried."  If we pursue our Christian life, and if we our truly honest with ourselves, we will admit having the same temptations likes the Israelites.  We would admit, like the Israelites, "we want our fleshpots!"  

So what is the answer or response to these temptations.  The answer is found in Israel's story once again!  The Lord feeds the Israelites with Manna, the Bread from Heaven.  For us as Christians as we journey through life, we too are given the Bread from Heaven.   Jesus Christ gives us Himself as food for our journey in the Eucharist.  By partaking in the Body and Blood of Christ, we are given the strength and grace to continue on the difficult road toward Heaven.  Let us not be discouraged by the difficulties found in the journey of life.  Let us turn away from the temptations of our various fleshpot desires.  And finally let us turn, all the more, to The Lord as the source of true food that will give us strength for the journey to our Eternal home!

I Have Chosen Bar-abbas, I Have Chosen Sin! - A Good Friday Meditation

Today, the Church calls to mind the Lord's Passion on Good Friday.  I was blessed to give a meditation this morning on the choice given to the Jews and to us; the choice between Jesus and Bar-abbas!

Pontius Pilate brings before the Jewish people two men: Jesus, son of the Heavenly Father and Bar-abbas, whose name literally means son of the father.  Pontius Pilate makes the people choose who they will release and who will they follow.  Will they choose to follow Jesus Christ, the son of the Heavenly Father, or will they follow Bar-abbas son of the father of lies? (cf. John 8:44)  Will they follow the man whose message stands for service and self-sacrifice or will they follow the man who is known as a zealot, murderer acting on his own desires and wants.  Will they choose a life of holiness or will they choose a life of sin?  This same choice is given to us today!

The Church, in her beauty recounts for us the words of the Passion.  The congregation not only hears the words, but most will participate and cry out for Bar-abbas over Jesus!  And if we are truly honest with ourselves, we will admit, we too choose our own attachments over the Lord.  We too choose to act selfishly over being selfless.  In a sense, we too, choose SIN!  From my own heart, I can say, I have chosen SIN, I have chosen Bar-abbas!

To admit this fact is hard.  It first takes self-awareness.  It also takes humility to acknowledge our weakness and our attachments.  The reality is clear, in our human brokenness, we don't always do what is right! See St. Paul in Rom 7:15 - "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate"

What then?  Do we just surrender, give up, live in a life of sin?  The answer is NO! We come before the Lord and seek his forgiveness!  One of the most beautiful images given to the Church is the Apostle Peter. Pope Benedict writes:

The Church is founded upon forgiveness.  Peter himself is a personal embodiment of this truth! She is held together by forgiveness, and Peter is the perpetual living reminder of this reality: she is not a communion of the perfect but a communion of sinners who need and seek forgiveness.

Recounting the Passion, Peter denies Jesus 3 times!  He betrays and fails to trust in Jesus.  But the story doesn't end there, Peter is forgiven, along with all the other disciples, and they are given the ministry of forgiveness found in John 20:21-23

[Jesus] said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,“Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”   

Today, this Good Friday, let us acknowledge our brokenness, seek the opportunity to venerate and kiss the cross, and ask the Lord for forgiveness because we have chosen, even yelled out, Bar-abbas over Jesus. Let us ask the Lord for forgiveness because we have chosen our attachments to our sins over choosing to follow Him! Let us seek the healing the Lord wants to give us!

But he was pierced for our sins, crushed for our iniquity. He bore the punishment that makes us whole, by his wounds we were healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

Death By NutraSweet!

Hummingbirds are truly beautiful animals to watch.  To see them jet up, down, left and right at a whim is quite a site to behold, all with a simple humming sound.  Then we come to realize the following fact:

A typical hummingbird needs 7 to 12 calories of energy everyday. This might sound small, but when we do the math: it's the equivalent of a 180 pound human having to scrounge up 204,300 calories a day, or about 171 pounds of hamburgers.  How crazy is that!

Bird enthusiast will sometimes put out bird feeders filled with sugar water to watch these amazing fliers of the sky, while giving them necessary calories to live. But what happens when you take away the necessary calories found in the sugar and use NutraSweet (a sugar substitute)?  The beautiful bird still takes the sweet water, feels fulfilled for its stomach is full, but will die because the false substitute doesn't provide the necessary nutrients.  

How often do we find ourselves in a similar situation.  We, like the hummingbird, indulge in false substitutes that eventually lead to our own death and destruction.  The devil in many ways tries to entice us with these false substitutes of the world, such as; lust, greed, and power.  These powerful three temptations seem to satisfy for a while, but in the end leave us unfulfilled.  Note that the Church offers us the three Evangelical Councils to confront these false substitutes with; chastity, poverty, and obedience. 

Or how about other false substitutes that try to fulfill our desire to be known and loved?  Are filling our lives with artificial friendships found in most social networking programs like facebook and twitter?  Am I satisfied with my 2,000 friends on facebook?  Or tens of thousands of followers on twitter? The answer is clearly No!  

This story of accepting false substitutes isn't new!  The story of Adam and Eve is a story of grasping after a false substitute.  Instead of being satisfied in their loving relationship with God, in temptation, they reach after the fruit that would make them become like gods.  They literally had a relationship with the source of life, and decided to take the substitute over the real deal.  Taking the false substitute broke the relationships with God and literally brought death into the world!

Let us acknowledge those things in our lives that may be our false substitutes in life.  If it be pleasures, money, or control.  It's time to eliminate the false substitutes that only temporarily satisfy, like humming bird drinking NutraSweet water.  It's time to seek the food and water that will completely satisfy and give us life!  

"But whoever drinks of the water I shall give him will become in him springs of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14) 

"Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of man will give to you!" (John 6:27)  

AMEN!

My Failed College Dream!

When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college.  I was tired of the hyped up high school drama and I couldn't wait to move on!  My idea was; I would leave high school and I could start completely all over.  I could "create" myself a new image.  No one in college would know that I was a nerd.  I could highlight all my cool accomplishments, and no one would know any of my faults.  Now that I think of it, my high school dream was exactly what facebook offers today; all the highlights and none of my faults. My goal was to create a great life and get that elusive girlfriend I had been longing for!

The dream was based on the idea; that I was in control of my image!  I was responsible of creating myself.  But, as I look back, I see how far I was from the truth.  I don't have the ability to create myself, nor did I create myself.  My identity, which seemed elusive, was found outside myself.  My identity, my image is found completely in the OTHER!

Looking at life, it is clear: our whole life is meant to be described in the other!  I became a brother because I had sisters.  I became a son because I had a mother and father.  I became a boyfriend because there was a girlfriend.  This is a profound reality of God.  TheTrinity of persons are found in relationship to the other (Father, Son, Holy Spirit).  And if we are truly made in the image and likeness of God, we too, will find our identity in the other!

But everything in this world, even relationships come and go: my girlfriend is long gone and so is my title as a boyfriend.  In a world of professions; a teacher is a teacher as long as there are students.  Likewise a doctor is only a doctor as long as they have patients (so what if they have a MD degree, but don't have any patients)!  When my grandparents passed away, am I still a grandson? If my parents were to pass, would I still be their son?  Well yes, but only because of my Christian understanding that they are still alive in heaven. Otherwise, I would lose that identity and part of who I was as well!

If we are to keep a sense of identity of who we are, we need to have a relationship with someone who is not temporary!  A relationship that never fades.  What is the Christian Gospel all about?  It's about bringing us in relationship with God the Father.  We are his children because of our particular relationship we have with Jesus Christ the Son.  When all relationships fail, and our identity seems completely lost, this will remain (if we acknowledge it or not).

We need to re-gain our identity and source.  The identity of being God's son's and daughters.  "See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are!" (1 Jn 3:1)

If we want to get back to being satisfied with who we are - we can't hide from the need to dive into that particular relationship with God.  No job, no exercise (Cross fit, lifting, or run - I speak to myself in this comment), no relationship on this earth will ever satisfy our longing in our hearts or reveal to us who we really are!  Only in a sense of confidence in our relationship with God can we face the crosses of this world, even death.

This is why taking time to pray EVERYDAY is so important! It grounds our identity, not in something that fades in time, but will remain for all eternity.  Don't try to live my college dream; the ability to create yourself! Realize that you find purpose and strength in the other.   Don't deny yourself the ability to stand in confidence and proclaim the prayer that Jesus taught us: "Our Father."

What I Learned From My Father's Garden

When I was in middle school my dad decided to allow his old farming days as a kid come out into our backyard.  The task to create a garden area was quite a feat, but what I discovered was the hardest part of having a garden was the daily care needed for it to prosper; from watering, pruning, and harvesting!

Jesus shares a similar gardening story in the Scriptures through the parable called the Sower and the seed (Matthew 13:1-9).  In the parable, Christ talks about a Sower (God) that sows seeds upon 4 different types of ground; the hard path, the rocks, the thorns, and the good soil.  Reading this passage, it was very easily to think that the Lord was talking about 4 different types of people.  But what I have come to discover in my own spiritual journey, is that the Lord is giving us the way to garden our own hearts, which like my dad's garden takes lots of work!

As I learned from my dad, to garden we first need to break up the hard and trampled ground.  In doing so, we discover rocks that need to be removed.  Once the rocks are removed, we can start removing the various types of weeds and thorns that would grow.  Eventually with the initial work complete, the soil would be ready for growing a fruitful garden. 

It is clear that my own spiritual journey didn't start with fruitful soil.  From high school to college I would say my heart was pretty hardened by any acceptance of the faith.  If you doubt me, you can talk to my cousin Jeanne!  It wasn't until college, that the Lord in a way pierced through the hard path.  But I soon discovered the rocks and weeds that would get in the way of the Lord.  15 years later, I can say the gardening of my heart has not been an easy task.  I continue to find old and new weeds sprouting and needing to be removed, rocks find their way into the garden, and the task just to bear simple fruit in my spiritual life is a task in itself.  It is clear the spiritual journey is a work in process!

Don't think my example is good enough?  I love reading the apostle's journey in the Scriptures!  The Lord spent three years with the apostles gardening their hearts.  Many times the Lord called them out saying that they were slow to hear and had little faith.  Think of how Peter did not want to hear about the Lord's upcoming suffering in Matthew 16, or how he denies Christ 3 times after telling Jesus he wouldn't!  But the most beautiful thing of the story was the Lord was patient with the Apostles, constantly forgave them, and worked tirelessly on their hearts so that on the day of Pentecost, the descent of the Holy Spirit, they would bear tremendous fruit for His Church.  And do you think even then their labors in the garden of their hearts were complete?  No!  Look at St. Paul as he talks about his weakness in 2 Corinthians 12!  

Not only is gardening something that takes continuous effort, it is clear that once you stop taking care of the garden; the weeds return, the rocks re-appear, and eventually the once luscious garden returns to being a hard path.  Let us during this great time of Lent continue to work with the master gardener in tilling our hearts; let us remove the rocks and weeds that prevent the Lord from bearing fruit in our lives.  If we can do that, I can guarantee that the Lord will continue to bear fruit a hundred fold in our lives!