My Love for m&ms: A Need for Christ!

If you ask my sister Tina, I have one severe weakness: m&ms (she will also include semi-sweet chocolate chips)!  I can't stop eating them.  If there is recent purchase from Cost Co of a 1 lb. of m&m's, I can't guarantee that there will be any left the next day.  The trend goes as following: First I open the bag, pull a small  bowl out, fill the bowl and start watching a movie.  The bowl filled with heavenly goodness quickly vanishes and it's not even pass the opening scene!  So of course, another bowl of goodness is in order.  Self-justification comes in: I've ran 4 marathons - I'm still burning off those calories right???  (my weight and belly tells another story!)  Needless to say, you can figure the rest of the story.  The 1 lb. bag is finished much much too soon!  It's usually followed with a stomach ache and sugar crash. 

What does this story reveal?  Well, it reveals I have no self-control when it comes to m&ms, but it reveals something much deeper: it reveals that I'm broken!  I would argue it points to my need for a Savior and not just some anti-acids!  My disordered passion for m&ms is just one of many of my disordered passions.  St. Paul speaks about this disorder in his letter to the Romans: "but I am carnal, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate... I can will what is right but I cannot do it.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do." (Romans 7:14 ff).  My goal when I first opened the bag of m&m was not to finish the full 1 pound bag of m&m's, but in a certain sense, I do the very thing I hate!  The very thing that is bad for my body!

My disorder passion for m&m is just one simple story of my many disordered and bad addictions.  I'm enjoying another disordered passion; I'm feeding my coffee addiction as I type this blog.  Before I get to my main point, I have to state the following: We all know m&ms in themselves are not bad, neither is the coffee I drink.  But with lack of self control seen in the story I just shared, we can see how something that is a good can become something bad!

This disorder speaks into the Anthropology of man!  The Church fathers would write about the 4 faculties of man in the following order:

1. Intellect

2. Will

3. Emotions

4. Passions

Before the broken relationship between God and Man, man kept his 4 faculties in the correct order.  The intellect would direct the will, and the will would control the emotions and passions.  But because the fall, what happened?  Well after being on 8 different University campuses over the last 14 years.  I can tell you the order goes as following:

1. Passions

2. Emotions

3. Will

4. Intellect (which is ironic because the university is supposed to be directed in forming the intellect)

Clearly, most college students are dictated by their own passions and emotions.   And it is to the detriment of the student, the University encourages the students to experiment with their sexuality (passions) and to have fun!  However, they don't mention the bad consequences of playing with their passions.  My friend just told me of story of guy bragging about how he had slept with over 60 women.  What a lie that has been fed to those pursuing higher education (the intellect).  Living a disordered life does not lead to a life of freedom and happiness, but one of slavery and bad consequences.  As Frank Sheed in Theology and Sanity commented: we are truly free to do what ever we want, however, because we live in an ordered world, we are truly not free from the consequences of our actions.   Like my story above.  I am truly free to eat the 1 lb. m&m bag, I'm, however, not free from the effects of eating a full pound of m&ms.  Or in the case of the guy who slept with over 60 woman, he is free to do that, but not free from the STDs or psychological disorders that may come from living such a life style.  

So it is clear: we have many disordered passions!  Why does God allow us to live in a life of disorder?  Why do we have to constantly struggle against our own passions and emotions?  Why do we do what we don't want to do?  St. Paul gives us insight to this as well!!!

St. Paul writes in his 2nd letter to the Corinthians: "a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being to elated.  Three times I besought The Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor 12 7:10)

It is in Christ we can correct this disorder.  It is in receiving the Sacraments, that we can receive the grace to live ordered.  But this desire to re-align our faculties can first begin by acknowledging our false passions.  It's in my false passions that I realize my own brokenness and that I personally can't realign them, but it solely in Christ that this can be done.  Sin has the ability to make us aware of our brokenness and a need for a savior.  For example; one needs to be aware of their illness before they can seek healing from a physician.  If I don't know I'm sick, I can't receive the necessary help.   Let us acknowledge our brokenness, turn to the Lord for healing and love, and realign our faculties!!!   

Riding a Bike: A lesson of Faith and Hope in the Resurrection!

I remember and with great excitement when I told my dad that I was ready to shed off the tyranny of my training wheels and ride a big boy bike!  But even with the excitement, I faced some fears.  The bike from which I was going to learn from was too big for me.   My sisters had previously been the riders of the bike.  If I were to move on from the classic big wheel or bike with training wheels, I would have to learn how to start the bike by standing on its side, and I would also have to learn how to jump off while it was still in motion otherwise the bike would fall because my feet could not reach the ground from the seat.

We lived in a condominium complex and our family unit was on the beginning of a cul de sac; with the street ending with a loop.  My dad sat me on the bike seat and told me to start pedaling.  Before I knew it I was pedaling fast and my dad was no longer behind me.  In anxiety of coming to a stop and having the bike fall on me, the only logical thought that came to mind was to pedal harder and faster.  I eventually fell to the ground making a sharp turn on the cul de sac.  I ran inside to my mom to take care of my battle wounds for the day.  The event prevented me for at least a week before attempting to ride the bike on my own again.  After several attempts and falls I eventually enjoyed the freedom to ride a bike around the neighborhood!  Take that you training wheels (though I still loved my big wheel)!!!

So what does this have to do with anything, let alone my faith in Christ?

Mark Twain stated, "History doesn't repeat, but it sure does rhyme!"  Our life carries many similar patterns and our faith gives light to that pattern. We need to look at this pattern in the life of Christ! (A necessary and common theme for most if not all of my blogs).  This pattern founded in Christ was brought to my attention by a social worker who counseled married couples.

He would ask the married couple, "So what are the greatest things in the marriage?"  They would reply, "The kids, the sex, the compromising."
He would follow up with another question, "So what are the most difficult things in the marriage?"
Their answer really didn't change; "The kids, the sex, the compromising."

In counseling couples the social worker learned a basic lesson founded in Christ:  You can't have the Resurrection without the Cross!  The social worker continued to find another event in Christ's life that was in the cycle of the Cross and the Resurrection and that was the event of the Transfiguration.  In the Transfiguration, Jesus was seen talking to Moses and Elijah.  Peter in his excitement wanted to remain on the mountain top and make tents/booths.  But the Lord pointed Peter to the the Cross.  It was in the Cross, which was a necessary act of our Lord, that would give the Apostles the fruit of the Resurrection, which was the Descent of the Holy Spirit. (cf. John 16:7 - "For if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you").

Our life does constantly rhyme as Mark Twain noticed.  It rhymes with transfigurations, crosses, and resurrections!

Let's just look at just a few examples:  a baby being born, riding a bike, wedding day, and the spiritual life.

In the mother's womb, the baby lives a life of comfort and protection (transfiguration).  The baby doesn't need to worry about food or much suffering.  I actually heard that during labor the baby fights against the labor.  But the baby is forced to leave the life of comfort and protection, only to be brought into the world with tears and cries (the cross).   But the babies life doesn't end in the life of tears, but smiles and laughter.   The senses of sight, smell, touch come forth and the baby receives love from their parents and will eventually learn how to love in return!

Now onto my story of riding a bike.  The desire to ride the bike started with great excitement and joy (transfiguration).  I actually started with great success only to find myself encountering the fall with scraped knees and bloody elbows (cross).  I eventually encountered the resurrection when I gained the freedom to ride without worrying about falling (resurrection).

A wedding day of course begins a journey of great excitement and joy (transfiguration).  Many people call the phase right after the wedding day the "honeymoon phase".  The honeymoon phase eventually ends and crosses begin to reveal itself in the growth of virtue (cross).  These crosses are seen in the form for the need for patience, the need for compromising, and working through difficulties and problems are just a few examples.  The married couple learns the need to surrender their own will for the sake of the spouse and family.  It is in these moments of the cross, as revealed by the social worker, the resurrection is found.  It is in the sacrifice that the family is brought to life!

The spiritual life is very similar.  As I worked on college campuses for many years, many students (including myself) began their journey of faith from a retreat/conference.  They encountered the love of the Lord and leave the retreat all fired up to change their life for the Lord (transfiguration).  This begins a journey that will actually transition into dryness and some difficulty (cross) as as the experience and joy of the retreat/conference begins to dissipate.  This dryness and difficulty is only to be followed by a deeper encounter with the Lord (resurrection)!  (see spiritual writings of St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila pointing to this reality)

The difficulty we currently face in our culture is that our culture tells us to deny the Cross.  One example that comes to mind is what many are telling my friends who are getting married.  They give the following advice, "Don't have kids right away!"  The advice proceeds from the idea of protecting the married from the difficulties and crosses of raising a child.  They try to keep the married couple in the life of the transfiguration.  But if Christ remained at the transfiguration, the apostles would not have experienced the power of the Resurrection not the descent of the Holy Spirit!

Let us not deny the Cross, but accept those crosses that the Lord is graciously giving to us.  The result of embracing our crosses will only give us hope and assurance of the Resurrection.  After living through this constant pattern of Transfiguration, Cross, and Resurrection we will only receive a greater peace when it is our time to leave this world!  Seeing the constant faith of our Lord, when it is time for us to face our final Cross we can only have hope and assurance of our final Resurrection!

Why My Dad Can't Hold a Secret From My Mom!

Growing up with my sisters and folks, I eventually came to realize a well known fact:  My dad can't hold a secret from my mom.   From supposed surprises such as gifts or parties for my mom, to expressing my desire to get my ears pierced in high school; my mom always seemed to know what was going on!

I never understood how and why my dad could not hold a secret from mom.  My dad served in the Vietnam War through the army's Military Intelligence.  During that time, my dad had learned to keep to himself and hold very pertinent, secret information.  So you would think a simple gift, surprise party, or even my desire to get my ear pierced would be in safe keeping???  Nope!  Why can't my dad keep a secret from my mom?  I think I discovered why!

It may sound silly, but it comes back to Genesis 2:21-23: "So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.  Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of man.""

Now many modern day thinkers and progressive feminist will write off this passage.  They would argue that this passage leads to misogyny.  They will claim that the passage was written by men to show the primacy of men over women.  And it doesn't help that there are those people who have argued that the fall into Original Sin was Eve's fault.  

First, I won't deny the abuse and misogyny that has occurred over these passages, but we also can't dismiss the Word of God because of these recent 20th century arguments.   Second, this passage, I admit, should be dumbfounding and confusing.  It is through woman that life comes into the world.  Eve is given the title mother of all living! So in a certain sense we would expect Adam to come from Eve! (Hence many people lean towards the misogyny argument to explain this confusing Scripture passage).  However, the key to understand this passage comes by looking to Christ!  Jesus Christ is the ultimate fulfillment of the Scriptures (read the Gospel of Matthew and count how many times the author says, "so the prophet may be fulfilled".  I've counted 11 times).  If we look at this passage in the light of Christ, we might receive some understanding of the passage and why my dad can't hold a secret from my mom! 

The early Church fathers, along with St. Paul, taught that Christ was the New Adam.  The Church fathers also meditated on how the Church, the new Eve, came from the pierced side of the New Adam.  God in the story of Genesis is preparing the story of salvation.  He is revealing that from the side of the New Adam (Christ), the New Eve (the Church) will come forth!

But now to the main point and answer to my original question: Why can't my dad keep a secret from my mom?  to get to the answer we need to look at why God chose the rib of Adam?  There are many theories out there!  Some really cheesy ones as well.   For example; God did not choose a bone from his head for she was not to be above him; not from the feet for she was not to be below him; but from his side so they might go side by side!   Sweet as that is, I'm not a fan. 

I came across the following meditation that has been placed on my heart: God chose the rib of Adam because it is the rib that is responsible for guarding the heart!  Eve was to be the guardian of Adam's heart!  So when Eve eats of the forbidden fruit (which is just as much of Adam's fault), the decision was a universal decision for Adam as well.  For Eve, as Adam proclaimed, was "bones of my bones, flesh of my flesh."

So why can't my dad keep a secret from my mom?  My mom has become the guardian of my Father's heart.  And therefore he can't keep a secret from her.  And if you truly want know my father, who will you have to go to?  My mother of course!

What does this have to do with our faith?!?  Jesus Christ as the New Adam brings forth the Church from his pierced side.  And if we truly want come  to know Jesus Christ, who will we have to go to?  Who is the guardian of the Sacred Heart of Jesus?  The Church!  The New Eve!  It is time to come to know the Lord through the Church Christ established through the Apostles!  Let us come to the guardian of our Lord's heart and adore the Lord!