Don't Speak Until I Have My Coffee!

Have you ever seen the following coffee Mug? I'm very tempted to get one!

The mug points to a simple reality: there are times when I can't handle the relationships in front of me until I get my morning caffeine kick!  But it happens more then just mornings!  Have you ever had a moment, when you were frustrated, angry, hungry (or hangry) and then you encounter someone with a lot of energy, joy and love?  What is your automatic reaction?  In my experience my response is "get away!"  I can't handle you right now!

I bring this up because this experience I've encountered, probably many times, can explain the spiritual reality of heaven and hell.  I recently encountered a person after a talk I had given.  The person wanted to challenge my theology and asked, "How can a loving God send anyone to hell?"  It's a theology question that can be challenging to many!  My response to the person was explain the above scenarios.  How often do we push love away?  Because it's not God who places souls in hell, it is they who place themselves there!  God loves us so much that He respects our free will. 

"Our free will is the only thing that is really our own.  Our health, our wealth, our power - all these God can take away from us.  But our freedom He leaves to us, even in hell.  Because freedom is our own, it is the only perfect gift that we can make to God" ~ Fulton Sheen

So the souls who are in hell are those who have encountered the love and joy of the Lord and in their self-pity, hatred, and anger reject God.  Their gnashing of teeth and the fire described in hell comes from their own rejection of God's love revealed in Jesus Christ.  It's not God's who places souls in hell, it they who put themselves there.  The fire that burns in hell, is the same fire that is received in love, joy and mercy by the Saints in heaven! 

So as much as I joke about needing the cup of coffee before I can enter into relationships with others, what really needs to happen is my openness to receive the love, mercy, and joy before me!  What I need to do is be open to receive our Lord and His love! Amen!

Humming Bird Part II - False Substitutes

Hummingbirds are beautiful creatures.  For the longest time, scientist were looking at how only this type of bird could fly in any direction with it's wings.  What is also amazing is the amount of calories the bird eats!  It takes in about 6-8 calories a day, which is equivalent to myself eating 200,000 calories a day!  Oh, how many steaks and burgers I would eat, along with bacon and cheese.

To enjoy these beautiful creatures some people buy hummingbird feeders at their local gardening shop.  I met a couple this weekend that had 6 feeders in their backyard.  In these feeders you would put 4 parts water to one part pure sugar cane.  This gives the right consistency for the birds.

But a drastic mistake that has happened in the past, due to lack of understanding, is that sometimes people accidentally put a sugar substitute in their feeder; like NutraSweet or Splenda.  These have 0 calories.  And what happens to these hummingbirds when they come across these feeders?  Do they know the difference?  Do they ignore the feeder? They actually consume the liquid, which fills their stomach so they can't consume anymore food, and because they receive zero calories they eventually die!

It's a sad story I know, but I promise it has a point.  We too, like the hummingbird, were made for real food!  And yet we fall for false substitutes all the time.  We fall for things that we believe will bring us life, but in the end brings us to sadness, loneliness, anger, depression, and even death.  Actually, if you were to define sin, that would be a good definition: Sin is a false substitute!  We desire God, yet we fail to turn to him to feed us! 

G.K. Chesterton once said that the man going into the brothel and the man going into the Church were seeking the same thing!  The difference?  One was falling for a false substitute.  Both men were seeking to have their desires fulfilled.  Both were desiring intimacy and relationship.

So the question is: what is our false substitutes?  It can be drastic sins like Pride, Lust, Anger, Avarice (Greed), Envy, Sloth and Gluttony also known as the 7 deadly sins.  But false substitutes can also be from those things that are neutral or even something good.  We saw that in the Gospel this past weekend (16th Sunday of Ordinary Time C) - Martha invites Jesus into her house.  Mary, her sister, stays at the foot of Christ listening.  Martha gets upset that her sister is not helping her host!  Martha, after complaining to the Lord, is told that Mary was doing the necessary thing.

But wait, doesn't the Christian life encourage serving? Doesn't following the Lord involve putting others before yourself?  Isn't Martha doing that?  The problem isn't the hospitality.  The problem is she's being distracted from being with the Lord.  She could have chosen to serve later.  Christ just wanted Martha to be with him.  Martha was falling for a subtle false substitute.

What can be some of our subtle false substitutes? Here are mine!
1. TV and Netflix.  Both are not bad, but when you watch 5 episodes in a row.  Or sit in front of the TV for hours, you are probably not resting in the Lord.  If anything it is taking you away from time of reflection with him.
2. Running and exercise.  Again, health is a good thing, but when we turn to running to get over our problems and not bring them to the Lord, than we have a false substitute.
3. My phone! How many times do I turn to my phone for my emails, text, Facebook, words with friends, etc.  Again we need to make sure we are not settling to turn to the device to fill our boredom.

We need to name our false substitutes - the big and the subtle.  Because just like the hummingbird, we were made for real substance, real food.  Let's not settle for that which can lead us to destruction.  Let us seek that which can bring us life.  And we are blessed that the Lord gives us just that!  He gives us himself, his Body and his Blood! 

A Priest Talking About His Ex-girlfriend

For some reason I have found that people listen more intently when I, as a priest, talk about ex-girlfriends.  So to keep the people of God on the edge of their seats I talked about my college sweet heart, Katie this past Sunday from the pulpit.  The lesson to be learned: Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. 

When Katie and I began to date at the end of my Sophomore year of College at the University of Illinois, we were head over heals for each other.  But just as in any relationship there were rules to be followed for it to grow and flourish.  Katie and I would talk everyday; over the summer months when apart we talked for hours on the phone.  When at school, even in my busy schedule of engineering, we discussed and planned my free time together.  And of course the basic rules of any committed relationship; no flirting with other women. 

The rules that came with the relationships didn't really bother me and they even made it possible for our relationships to grow.  But, what happened when the relationship began to fade? Communication broke down and the relationship began to struggle.  As the relationship faded, I started to look at all the rules I had to follow in the relationship.  Why couldn't I just hang out with my roommates and friends on the weekend?  Do I have to run my schedule always by Katie? Why can't I just talk to the girl over there?  It became clear, I started focusing on the rule when the relationship broke down and I wanted to rebel!

This is the same with our faith. I have encountered countless number of people who have issues with all the "rules" of the Catholic faith.  What do you mean I can't eat meat on Fridays?  What do you mean the Church is against contraception and pre-marital sex?  What do you mean I need to attend Mass every Sunday and if I don't go to Church on Sundays then that is a Mortal sin?  The response usually ends in a negative response, "You Catholics are just all about the rules."

I usually don't respond by addressing the rules, but encouraging a further relationship with the Lord and the Church!  Why? Because if the relationship resides with the Lord and his Bride, the Church, the rules actually begin to make sense.  Of course I would want to keep the Sabbath holy and receive the word of the Lord followed by receiving him in the Eucharist!  Of course I would want to live a life of purity of heart with my relationship with God and others.  Of course, out of love for the Lord, I'm willing to make active sacrifices and join myself to the poor who usually can't afford luxury food items like meat.  The rules are not a hindrance when we are deeply in love with the Lord!  Actually, the rules help us deepen our relationship with the Lord and his Church, the Body of Christ! 

So the next time you catch yourself complaining about the rules of the faith, which I have done from time to time, it's always good to ask the simple question; how is my relationship with the Lord?