Thursday, June 13, 2013

Fatherhood - an Open Battle Ground!

Father's Day is here and I'm about to head to El Salvador for a FOCUS mission trip!  So I thought I would write a blog about the fatherhood, a topic I spent this last year on with my bible study!  Below is a picture of some of the guys that were able to attend the study!



The topic on Fatherhood was a beautiful bible study, which rewarded me almost more than the students who participated.  I started the discussion laying out some stark facts, the general reality of a University setting like Boulder, and the spiritual reality that is before us.   It began with the following:

The CDC stat reported that 41% (higher in cities like Detroit which is about 80%) of all babies being born in the US are coming into Single Mom Homes.  That means about 60% are being born into the US with Mothers and Fathers.  The sad reality that either struck us personally or our families is the reality of Divorce.  We see divorce rates moving above 50%.   This means roughly speaking 70% of children will experience broken and incomplete families.  (Now I know this is not taking into account single mom's eventually marrying, or account for re-marriages but bare with me as I try to explain the physical and spiritual consequence of these stats and not get to caught up on the smaller details).  In any case the men saw where I was going with the topic!   In most cases there was a growth in the lack of fatherhood, but why?  Why is there a higher percentage of single parenting and broken families?  I shared a simple reality to the men: 

Men will become one of two things:  Fathers or Predators.   Whoa!  That seems quite contrast and no one likes being called a predator.  So I tried to explain it in a different context.  They will either become fathers where they will be selfless and lay down their life for their spouse and children.  Or they will become predators and see everything for their own end and act selfishly.  The terms could seem harsh, but the concept of selfless living and selfish living was a clear definition for the guys!

After I laid that foundation, I asked all the guys, "What is college preparing you for?"  Talk about a time of self realization.  Many of them were struck with the their own reality before them.  They started to share all the bad influences around them which pointed them to selfish ends.  Study aside, I can't tell you how many times I have to stop and ask the question: Am I doing this for my own end, or for God's?  Am I being selfish or selfless?

In all honesty this battle between fatherhood and predator shouldn't surprise us!  Why?  Because we see this battle for Fatherhood vs. predator in the Scriptures!

In the Gospel of John it is clear, there is a battle between to two kinds fatherhoods.  Read John Chapter 8:33 ff (and following). It is a discussion between Jesus and the Jews.  The Jews claim that Abraham was their father and therefore they are included in God's promise.  But Jesus calls outs their cow manure, (at this moment I imagine Jesus playing cards with the Jews.  The Jews lay their hand down and Jesus yells BS!!!).  He without hesitation says, "You are from your father the devil!" (John 8:44).  If there is anytime to use your imagination this is where the story seems to get real awkward.  Needless to say, the story ends with the Jews wanting to stone Jesus.  Go figure!

The second battle for Fatherhood is seen near the end of the Gospel of John.  Jesus is put on trial before Pontius Pilate.  Pilate tried to have Jesus released.  By following a Jewish tradition of releasing one prisoner, Pilate brings a criminal next to Jesus.   The choice was either Jesus or Barabbas: Jesus, son of the Heavenly Father, or Barabbas, a zealot, robber, and murder.  Barabbas name means Son of the Father (Bar means Son of, Abba means Father).  Unknowingly Pilate was asking the Jewish people to decide: Which Son of the Father are you going to follow?   Of course the proclamation to release Barabbas and Crucify our Lord resounds every year during Holy Week.

Jesus came to reveal this choice.  Jesus came to reveal God as Father.  Don't agree?  Read the Gospel of Matthew Chapters 5-7, which is called the Sermon on the Mount.  Jesus after calling the Apostles goes on the mountain side to teach the multitudes.  In the foundation of Jesus instruction,  Jesus mentions Father 17 times.  You don't have to be a theologian to notice that Jesus wants us to pay attention to his Father.  It is in this same section we receive the prayer; the Our Father.  It is now revealed to us, we can call God "Our" Father!  This is kind of a big deal and so beautiful so don't let this slip by!

With this foundations of society, university setting and spiritual reality of fatherhood men in the bible study, including myself,  could pursue the call of our own fatherhood together.  Little do people know that fatherhood just doesn't happen, it is something to prepare for and continual formation is needed to achieve.   For even The Lord calls us to be perfect as his Heavenly Father is perfect.  To be merciful as his Father is merciful!  One just doesn't become selfless overnight.  A person needs to constantly pursue the good so that in the end we will not become a predator acting on our own selfish desires!

May we all be selfless for The Lord!
In His Service




Thursday, June 6, 2013

Yeah, I Still Got It: Hit on by a Drunk Atheist!

It was a beautiful spring Sunday in Boulder. Like many Sundays' prior, I had enjoyed my day by hiking the foothills, participating in evening Mass, and finished the night by listening to live Irish music, drinking fine irish beer, and having a great conversation with friends! Note: Being a(n) (Irish) Catholic involves having life to the Full!

Unlike to prior weekends something different was going to happen. Wait for it.... I was going to be hit on by a woman, a first in a really long time. I was in the midst of a conversation with a student when I spotted a woman across the bar. She was staring right at me. I, however, not wanting to jump to conclusions looked around to find no other man around me. What a surprise!?!  I'm 32 years old in a college town and it's quite apparent I need to start worrying about getting sunburned on the top of head! :)

I thought the woman was beautiful, but I was invested in the conversation with the student considering to join FOCUS.  So I decided not to pursue that conversation with the woman staring right at me! But alas it didn't matter because shortly after jumping back into the conversation with the student, she made her way over to me! Interrupting my conversation with the student, she began our conversation with the following, "Are you in the band?"

What a classy pick up line! The instant the words came out, her intoxicated state was apparent. This may explain why she was hitting on me! So I stopped my conversation with the student and engaged the intoxicated woman. (Note: this is not to be interpreted that I thought the woman was intoxicating). The small talk went as following with small questions like, "where are you from? What brought you out to Boulder? What do you do for a living?"

Of course any question you ask, you have to eventually answer (a small missionary trick)... And so I did... "I'm from the Midwest. My work brought me out here. I'm a Catholic missionary." She abruptly said "Oh, I don't F***ing care about religion." I was caught off guard. Did she think I was trying to share my faith with her? I was just explaining a fact of who I was! So I repeated the statement, "My work brought me out here, I'm a Catholic Missionary." I received the same response, "Like I said, I don't F***ing care about religion!"

Of course you know there is a reason for her intense statements filled with anger and hatred. So I asked, "Do you want to tell me about it?" She responded, "Why don't you tell me?" My heart of course picked up its pace. What do I tell her? Do I tell her my story? How the Lord pursued my heart? Do I talk about God's existence or of His love for us? So, I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and I said "Well..." And again I was interrupted... She stated, "Here, we go again..." and took a sip of her drink.

So the Lord had a different plan for the conversation. I asked her, "Do you even want to hear what I have to say?" She responded with a clear, "NO!" She then exclaimed with strong confidence, "Science is my religion." Without hesitation I responded to her total disregard to my Faith with, "And what has Science brought you?" It seemed like she was going to say something, but it was my turn to interrupt! "Except loneliness and emptiness! At least that's what Science has brought me!" (Note: I had earlier squeezed in the brief conversation that I had received my Engineering degree from University of Illinois concentrated in Robotics, to try to soften the idea that I was a religious fanatical denying the world completely of anything good.) How intense! I was expecting a middle finger, the throwing of water in my face, maybe some more swearing, but you could see that I hit something in her claim about science being a religion.  Though science had made so many promising claims to her, it still didn't fill the void in her heart. She just walked away slowly mumbling something like "Good luck with that."

I bring up this conversation, as intense as it was, not to show that at the age of 32 in a college town I still have the ability to pick up (intoxicated) women. No! 

I bring this up because I too struggle and turn to the world for answers! I turn to entertainment (TV, movies, concerts, music), friendships, etc... to fill the void of loneliness and emptiness. We, to our own detriment, turn to quickly to the world for answers. When clearly the world doesn't have the answer! Or does it?!?  St. Thomas Aquinas gives us a great insight into this truth:

"Because man, in deserting God had stooped to corporeal things, it was necessary that God should take the flesh and by corporeal things should afford him the remedy of salvation"

What a beautiful understanding of God! What a beautiful reality of our Christian Faith! Man deserted God and turned to the world for all their answers. God could have, and justly so, left us to the world, but it was not in God's desire. God desires Man to be and share in the relationship between Triune exchange of Persons (A very deep Mystery) . But to allow humanity to enter this relationship and exchange of Divine life, God would have to become Flesh (or corporeal as St. Thomas Aquinas put it). And God would use a corporeal body to bring Man into the Divine life. 

St. Ambrose commenting on the Our Father Prayer makes a similar claim:

"O man, you did not dare to raise your face to heaven, you lowered your eyes to the earth, and suddenly you have received the grace of Christ all your sins have been forgiven. From being a wicked servant you have become a good son. Then raise your eyes to the Father who has begotten you through Baptism, to the Father who has redeemed you through his Son, and say: "Our Father."

It's because of our broken nature we always turn to the world for the answers! So God came into the world to draw us to Himself!  So the answer we seek, ironically, is in the world, but not of the world. The answer is Jesus Christ!   Don't be fooled by the promises of this world.  Don't be fooled by the empty promises of the world, but turn to the ultimate promise of God who came into the world so we may be drawn into something beyond this world!

St. Irenaeus of Lyons - "The Son of God became the Son of Man that the sons of men might become the sons of God"

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Love requires a response: it requires OUR Response!

I was recently reading Prayer by Hans Urs von Balthasar and I came across the following quote, "How can a person seriously believe that God is love...and at the same time refuse to love God in return?"  His rhetorical question is to point to the simple fact: Love requires a response, Love requires our response!

And then my mind went wandering:

How many stories point to the difficulty of love's necessary response?  The story line goes as the following:  The protagonist in pursuit of happiness professes his/her love to the assumed love of their life, "I love you!" Only to find awkward silence or at best, "Well that's nice" or "Well I really I like you." The audience, including myself, begin to squirm and their hearts go out to the protagonist.  Why? We desire, we long for love to conquer.  We want the happy ending: "I Love You Too!"  (Note - this longing for love to conquer points to our own disposition and desire to love and be loved)

Then I began to reflect over all my friends who were recently engaged.  What is the first question you ask?  Of course it's how did he propose?  Were there tears? I always imagine...The man takes the knee, professes his enduring love to the woman and with a dramatic pause the woman says... It's breath-taking, yet also nerve wrecking!  Two lives will either radically come together, or separate.

I believe we love these stories because we desire to enter into the story of love, but see how we are called to respond to it.  It's not the proposal that's so great!  It's the YES to the Proposal that makes our hearts jump!

Now back to Hans Urs von Balthasar's point: Love requires our response.  What is it that our faith proclaims?  If we don't acknowledge God's love for us, how can we respond to it?  If we struggle to connect an event that happened 2,000 years ago from today, we will continue struggle with our own problems and look for answers that are not found in Christ.

This is where understanding our faith is so important.   It is important to understand who Jesus Christ is: a Divine person that is fully human and fully divine!  Not only do we have God who expands through all time and eternity, but we have a God who became flesh to reveal His love to all humanity through his death on the Cross.  This moment, this event, is not an event or moment that fades away.  Actually the Power of the Cross remains for all eternity!

Our Lord has truly loved us and continues to love us!  He has revealed the extent of his love on the Cross and now it is our turn to respond.  And what will our response be?  Will we sit an awkward silence, will we say "well that's nice" or even "well I really like you."  All is to insufficient... we need to make a complete surrender and yell it, "I LOVE YOU too!"  Let's enter into Love's Story, Let's respond to God's Love!

St. Augustine - “To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek him the greatest adventure; to find him, the greatest human achievement.”

In His Service
Michael Kearney