My Parent's Love Story!

For those who know me, you probably have heard me tell my parent's Hollywood love story.  So you can imagine, as I'm introducing myself to my new parish that I couldn't wait to share their story with my parishioners in a homily!

My last name is Kearney, which reveals my Irish heritage. My dad grew up in small farm towns in the Midwest.  But many people are surprised to find out not only my mother's side of the story, but also how my parents met.  My mother was born in Jerusalem and came to the states when she was 10.  When she was in her early 20's she was introduced to another Arab man (not my father of course) and before you knew it she was engaged and creating her wedding invitations.  It was at that point my dad entered into the picture and came across my mom, only to be disappointed when he found out that this beautiful woman was engaged.  Long story short, due to family connections, my dad received an invitation to my mother's wedding.  You can imagine that my father was not looking forward to see this beautiful woman get married.  So he declined the invitation, only to end up driving to Tombstone, AZ from Chicago, where we have some family.

Well the night before the wedding, when my mother was going into the city to get her wedding license for the next day ceremony, my mother found out that the man she was going to marry didn't want to have any kids and wasn't planning on visiting much of her family even for the holidays.  For those who don't know my mom, this was heart breaking, for family and children mean the world to my mom.  Returning home in tears, my Grandmother, helping make the decision final, took the wedding license from my mom and tore it up!

My dad arrived in Arizona on Friday by car, only to find out my mother's wedding was cancelled on Saturday.  He jumped back in the car and was at my mother's doorstep in Chicago Monday evening. He asked her out and they dated for three weeks, he proposed, and they were married in 3 months! 

It's pretty much a Hollywood movie in the making.  My sisters and I were one day of never existing.  But as much as I like to praise my parents for their Hollywood story of falling in love, what really is amazing is their fidelity to that love over 41 years.  For if you were to ask them about their 41 years of marriage, they would be first to admit the difficulties they have faced as a couple.

I share this love story because are faith carries a very similar road.  Many of us can maybe remember falling in love with the Lord.  Maybe it was through a retreat, adoration, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation or even in the Mass.  Yet the falling in love with the Lord is easy, it's the staying in love with the Lord in the light of the Cross that is quite difficult!

That is why it's so beautiful to look toward our Blessed Mother, Mary.  For she gives us a great example of the Christian journey.  Her surrender to the Lord, which is known as her Fiat, in other words her "yes" to the Arch-angel Gabriel to give birth to our Lord, involves the same "yes" that leads her to the foot of the Cross as her son is crucified!  One of great joy and one of great difficulty.

This past Sunday we heard from the Gospel of Luke (13:22-30) the following:

“Lord, will only a few people be saved?” He answered them, “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough"

It sounds scary for us to hear that some will not be strong enough to enter the Narrow Gate.  I truly belief the narrow gate is in reference to the fidelity to surrendering everything to the Lord, even in the light of our own death and crosses.  Will we remain faithful in the most difficult times?  How can we prepare ourselves so that we can be strong enough?  This brings me to two examples and the gifts that can be found in the Catholic Church!

When my Grandmother on my dad's side was nearing the end of her life with amnesia and dementia, there was one thing that continued to ground her in her faith.  It was her commitment to the daily Rosary.  And even if she couldn't remember the names of her grandchildren and at the end of her life her children, she could still recite the Hail Mary like the best of them.  As much as some might say the Rosary is just a rote prayer and just repetitive in nature, we don't know how much grace there is to say even the most simple words, "Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners now and the hour of our death!" 

The second thing would be the strength found in the Mass and in the Eucharist.  Recently I ended up at the Hospital to give last rights to man who had a brain bleed.  He seemed unresponsive when a I arrived, but while performing the prayers, the wife told her husband that a priest was in the room and a tear came to his eye.  The next day I had the chance to visit him, and after the request from the wife and approval from the nurse, I was able to give the man our Lord in holy communion.  Even though he was unresponsive to my entering the room and conversation with his wife.  When I said, "The Body of Christ," the man opened his mouth on queue and began to consume the host.  To make things even more beautiful, the wife said that her husband still remembers the "Our Father" prayer.  So after telling her husband to join her, He recited line by line with his wife the Our Father!

What beautiful gifts Christ and the Church gives us to prepare ourselves for the Lord!  May we work now, more then ever, to recommit ourselves to the Lord through the Rosary and the Mass so that we too will have strength to enter the narrow gate!

But I Don't Wanna Change!

Have you ever looked at the world and wished you could change it?  Either stopping wars or terrorism, or having Michael Phelps win all 28 golds vs. his 23 gold, 3 silver, and 2 bronze!  Have you ever looked at our country?  Wouldn't it be nice to change the hearts of our politicians, or political system?  Do you see the violence that is exploding everywhere and wish you could bring peace?  Have you ever looked at your town and wish to change it?  Maybe have lower property taxes and improve their school system?  Have you ever wished to help your family members who are struggling?  After looking at the world, our country, town, and family, we may have time to look at ourselves and say, I wish I can change this part of my life. 

But there is a difference of wanting change, and actually being changed!  What happens when we are confronted by others to change?  Have you ever received criticism?  Have you ever been told you need to change?  How do you usually receive that criticism or fraternal correction?  If you are like me, the picture below describes it all!  "I don't wanna Change!"

This might give us insight on why the prophets in the Old Testament were usually persecuted or killed because of their message.  Jeremiah in the Old Testament reading this past weekend for the 20th Sunday of Ordinary time was thrown into a cistern.  He was called by God to confront the people to tell them to return to God and to stop their immoral actions!  And their response? They wanted to have none of it! 

But this passage can be applied to us today! The Lord never stops calling us to change! What are those things in our lives that are preventing us from turning to Him?  Here are some questions to ask: How many minutes of the Olympics did you watch this week?  How many episodes on Netflix?  How many sports games did you watch?  How many times did you turn to facebook to kill some time?  Now ask yourself the following questions:  How many times did you open the Scriptures?  How many times did you take to pray silently to God in adoration?  How many times did you take steps to invite the Lord into your hearts?

If you are like me, once you answer those questions, you can see that maybe we need to change!  Are desires to change the world, our country, our city, family can only begin if we turn to the Lord to have Him transform us! That is why I love the following quote found on a Bishop's Tombstone in Westminster Abbey.

“When I was young and free, and my imagination had no limits, I imagined changing the world; as I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change.  So I shorten my sights to my own country, but it too seemed immovable.  As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me.  But alas they would not have any of it.  And now as I am on my death bed.  I suddenly realize if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family, from their inspiration and encouragement, I would have changed or even bettered my country.  Who knows I might have changed the world.” 

The Lord is calling us to change!  Let us turn to Him for strength to do just that!

Solving the Unsolved Mystery!

Unsolved Mysteries!  It was my favorite television show in the 90’s.

The show was consisted of telling 4-5 stories that have YET to be solved; from missing persons, to possible ghost encounters.  They would usually start the show with some ridiculous background music and the line, “Maybe you can help solve the next unsolved mystery.”  If you were lucky, the end of the show would have an “Update,” where they would explain how they solved a previous mysterious case!

I bring this up because in many cases, our society doesn’t like mystery.  A mystery is something that needs to be solved!  We like answers!  It's probably why I became an Engineer!  From math, chemistry to physics, I was constantly given equations, mysteries, and asked to solve the problem.  And so when I entered in to my faith and they kept talking about the Mystery of our faith, you can understand how I responded.  Three persons and one God, The Eucharist, Jesus Christ being fully Divine and fully human, "Oh I'm going to solve it!"  I was an engineer after all and any problem I was given had a solution!

And yet there is something unique about our faith that is quite different than a math equation or engineering problem.  Our faith is centered and founded on Relationship!  Our God is a communion of persons.  The very essence of God is a relationship of persons.  And we were made in that image and likeness of God.  We were made for relationship and communion! 

The one thing that I've learned about relationships is that they are a mystery, not something that can be solved!  If you have ever fallen in love, you can’t explain the mystery that has taken you over, you can only enter into that relationship.  Maybe it's why we say "love is blind," because it doesn't make sense, it's not an equation that can be explained, but only something that we can enter into.  Maybe that is why I must be a sucker for weddings, for it is a mystery of love between the bride and the groom that we enjoy, not an equation that has been solved!  It is the same with our faith! 

So the next time the priest proclaims “the Mystery of Faith”, during the Eucharist Liturgy prepare yourself.  Not for an equation to be solved, but a relationship to enter into!

Hit the Road Jack!

One thing I learned growing up in my family is that a road trip is never out of a question!  Traveling with my family by car to California, Texas, Florida, DC, Canada, and everywhere in between I saw most of the US through the back of our family mini-van.  One of the crucial aspects to the trip was always making sure we had our trusted Atlas!  It helped up navigate through the various states along with tracking the roadways and possible future exits for our stops!

After living in 10 different locations over 12 years, I've come to realize that my life has been quite a journey!  But it's not something new to the Christian faithful!  The early Christian Father's would write about how our life was a journey, from this world to the next.  Our destination was not earth, but of heaven with God. 

Each of the Sunday readings deal with this fact: We are made to be with God in heaven and not on earth and live solely for this earth, you are not living at all!

The first reading gives us the line "Vanity of Vanities" (Eccl 1:2).  Why? Because unless it's for God, then it is all worthless and vain.  It's worthless because it's not getting us to our destination.  St. Paul asks the people to know their ultimate destination; "seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God" (Col 3:1).  And finally, the harshness of the Lord in the parable, "‘You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?’ (Luke 12:20). 

The first reading and the Gospel warn us about living for this world, while St. Paul gives us the answer: Seek your end, seek the Lord!  And so we are encouraged to solidify our destination.  The question then needs to be asked: Am I actually living for my destination to be with God?  What steps am I taking to get there?  What is my Atlas to get me there?

We need to ask these questions because if we don't make active steps to achieve our end, we can never get there!  If I wanted to take a vacation, it's not until I make the decision of where I want to go, before I could set out to get there.  It's only when I decide to go to Cancun for vacation, that I can start saving money and making accommodations to get there (aka plane ticket, hotel, local commute).  It's no different in our spiritual life. 

It's time to make the relationship with the Lord our end, and start making an effort to get there!  Seeking the Lord in word and Sacrament.  Looking at our great Atlas with the richness of the Catholic Tradition!

Don't Speak Until I Have My Coffee!

Have you ever seen the following coffee Mug? I'm very tempted to get one!

The mug points to a simple reality: there are times when I can't handle the relationships in front of me until I get my morning caffeine kick!  But it happens more then just mornings!  Have you ever had a moment, when you were frustrated, angry, hungry (or hangry) and then you encounter someone with a lot of energy, joy and love?  What is your automatic reaction?  In my experience my response is "get away!"  I can't handle you right now!

I bring this up because this experience I've encountered, probably many times, can explain the spiritual reality of heaven and hell.  I recently encountered a person after a talk I had given.  The person wanted to challenge my theology and asked, "How can a loving God send anyone to hell?"  It's a theology question that can be challenging to many!  My response to the person was explain the above scenarios.  How often do we push love away?  Because it's not God who places souls in hell, it is they who place themselves there!  God loves us so much that He respects our free will. 

"Our free will is the only thing that is really our own.  Our health, our wealth, our power - all these God can take away from us.  But our freedom He leaves to us, even in hell.  Because freedom is our own, it is the only perfect gift that we can make to God" ~ Fulton Sheen

So the souls who are in hell are those who have encountered the love and joy of the Lord and in their self-pity, hatred, and anger reject God.  Their gnashing of teeth and the fire described in hell comes from their own rejection of God's love revealed in Jesus Christ.  It's not God's who places souls in hell, it they who put themselves there.  The fire that burns in hell, is the same fire that is received in love, joy and mercy by the Saints in heaven! 

So as much as I joke about needing the cup of coffee before I can enter into relationships with others, what really needs to happen is my openness to receive the love, mercy, and joy before me!  What I need to do is be open to receive our Lord and His love! Amen!

Humming Bird Part II - False Substitutes

Hummingbirds are beautiful creatures.  For the longest time, scientist were looking at how only this type of bird could fly in any direction with it's wings.  What is also amazing is the amount of calories the bird eats!  It takes in about 6-8 calories a day, which is equivalent to myself eating 200,000 calories a day!  Oh, how many steaks and burgers I would eat, along with bacon and cheese.

To enjoy these beautiful creatures some people buy hummingbird feeders at their local gardening shop.  I met a couple this weekend that had 6 feeders in their backyard.  In these feeders you would put 4 parts water to one part pure sugar cane.  This gives the right consistency for the birds.

But a drastic mistake that has happened in the past, due to lack of understanding, is that sometimes people accidentally put a sugar substitute in their feeder; like NutraSweet or Splenda.  These have 0 calories.  And what happens to these hummingbirds when they come across these feeders?  Do they know the difference?  Do they ignore the feeder? They actually consume the liquid, which fills their stomach so they can't consume anymore food, and because they receive zero calories they eventually die!

It's a sad story I know, but I promise it has a point.  We too, like the hummingbird, were made for real food!  And yet we fall for false substitutes all the time.  We fall for things that we believe will bring us life, but in the end brings us to sadness, loneliness, anger, depression, and even death.  Actually, if you were to define sin, that would be a good definition: Sin is a false substitute!  We desire God, yet we fail to turn to him to feed us! 

G.K. Chesterton once said that the man going into the brothel and the man going into the Church were seeking the same thing!  The difference?  One was falling for a false substitute.  Both men were seeking to have their desires fulfilled.  Both were desiring intimacy and relationship.

So the question is: what is our false substitutes?  It can be drastic sins like Pride, Lust, Anger, Avarice (Greed), Envy, Sloth and Gluttony also known as the 7 deadly sins.  But false substitutes can also be from those things that are neutral or even something good.  We saw that in the Gospel this past weekend (16th Sunday of Ordinary Time C) - Martha invites Jesus into her house.  Mary, her sister, stays at the foot of Christ listening.  Martha gets upset that her sister is not helping her host!  Martha, after complaining to the Lord, is told that Mary was doing the necessary thing.

But wait, doesn't the Christian life encourage serving? Doesn't following the Lord involve putting others before yourself?  Isn't Martha doing that?  The problem isn't the hospitality.  The problem is she's being distracted from being with the Lord.  She could have chosen to serve later.  Christ just wanted Martha to be with him.  Martha was falling for a subtle false substitute.

What can be some of our subtle false substitutes? Here are mine!
1. TV and Netflix.  Both are not bad, but when you watch 5 episodes in a row.  Or sit in front of the TV for hours, you are probably not resting in the Lord.  If anything it is taking you away from time of reflection with him.
2. Running and exercise.  Again, health is a good thing, but when we turn to running to get over our problems and not bring them to the Lord, than we have a false substitute.
3. My phone! How many times do I turn to my phone for my emails, text, Facebook, words with friends, etc.  Again we need to make sure we are not settling to turn to the device to fill our boredom.

We need to name our false substitutes - the big and the subtle.  Because just like the hummingbird, we were made for real substance, real food.  Let's not settle for that which can lead us to destruction.  Let us seek that which can bring us life.  And we are blessed that the Lord gives us just that!  He gives us himself, his Body and his Blood! 

A Priest Talking About His Ex-girlfriend

For some reason I have found that people listen more intently when I, as a priest, talk about ex-girlfriends.  So to keep the people of God on the edge of their seats I talked about my college sweet heart, Katie this past Sunday from the pulpit.  The lesson to be learned: Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. 

When Katie and I began to date at the end of my Sophomore year of College at the University of Illinois, we were head over heals for each other.  But just as in any relationship there were rules to be followed for it to grow and flourish.  Katie and I would talk everyday; over the summer months when apart we talked for hours on the phone.  When at school, even in my busy schedule of engineering, we discussed and planned my free time together.  And of course the basic rules of any committed relationship; no flirting with other women. 

The rules that came with the relationships didn't really bother me and they even made it possible for our relationships to grow.  But, what happened when the relationship began to fade? Communication broke down and the relationship began to struggle.  As the relationship faded, I started to look at all the rules I had to follow in the relationship.  Why couldn't I just hang out with my roommates and friends on the weekend?  Do I have to run my schedule always by Katie? Why can't I just talk to the girl over there?  It became clear, I started focusing on the rule when the relationship broke down and I wanted to rebel!

This is the same with our faith. I have encountered countless number of people who have issues with all the "rules" of the Catholic faith.  What do you mean I can't eat meat on Fridays?  What do you mean the Church is against contraception and pre-marital sex?  What do you mean I need to attend Mass every Sunday and if I don't go to Church on Sundays then that is a Mortal sin?  The response usually ends in a negative response, "You Catholics are just all about the rules."

I usually don't respond by addressing the rules, but encouraging a further relationship with the Lord and the Church!  Why? Because if the relationship resides with the Lord and his Bride, the Church, the rules actually begin to make sense.  Of course I would want to keep the Sabbath holy and receive the word of the Lord followed by receiving him in the Eucharist!  Of course I would want to live a life of purity of heart with my relationship with God and others.  Of course, out of love for the Lord, I'm willing to make active sacrifices and join myself to the poor who usually can't afford luxury food items like meat.  The rules are not a hindrance when we are deeply in love with the Lord!  Actually, the rules help us deepen our relationship with the Lord and his Church, the Body of Christ! 

So the next time you catch yourself complaining about the rules of the faith, which I have done from time to time, it's always good to ask the simple question; how is my relationship with the Lord?