I'm Blind, Oh Wait; I Just Need to Take Off My Sunglasses.

One of my favorite stories told to me while I was in Kansas City as a FOCUS missionary came from one of my teammates.  She told us the story when she thought she went completely blind.  She went to bed, only to wake up with every light in the house completely off.  She couldn't see the normal light that would come into the house from the street light, she couldn't see the light from her clock, so she reached for her glasses on the nightstand, put her glasses on, and realized she actually couldn't see anything at all.  She went stumbling throughout the house yelling "I'm Blind, I'm Blind, I can't see."  While stumbling through the house, patting at the wall trying to find every light switch she could to turn them on.  But alas, no light was coming as she continued to yell "I'm Blind."  All of the sudden, the power outage ended, all the lights in the house went on, and she had realized that she had placed her sunglasses on while her parents, awoken from their daughter screaming, just looked at her.

I had a less dramatic, yet similar story.  Throughout the hill country of Judea there are many caves to explore.  We were waiting to go into the Mar Saba Monastery, a beautiful Greek Orthodox Monastery built 15 stories down from a ridge.  

As we waited, we started to explore the area around, only to find a cave that had been bricked up with a small entry point.  As I went into the cave, I couldn't see anything!  I was wondering what was taking my eyes so long to adjust.  I reached into my pocket to turn on my iPhone flashlight to help me see, but that did absolutely nothing.  Without yelling I'm blind, I felt a bit confused on why I couldn't see anything.  Then I realized it and I removed my sunglasses.

I bring this up because it hit me in my meditation that day.  Yes, there is darkness in the world, and yes sometimes we are caught in the midst of that darkness, but sometimes we actually contribute to our own blindness by putting on, deliberately or undeliberately, our sunglasses!  For me, as I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to me what my sunglasses were: he revealed to me a simple truth.  When I thought about myself; wants and desires - I would find myself alone and sad, along with anxiety with my upcoming diaconate ordination.  When I thought about God and His love for me, through the gift of my friends and families, I felt peace and joy, and there was excitement for my upcoming ordination!  My sunglasses, at least at this moment and meditation (I'm sure there are others), was a life centered on myself; to be self-absorbed in my wants and desires.

Please continue to pray for the 37 of us on this pilgrimage as we continue to seek the Lord, and I ask in a particular way to continue to pray, leading up my diaconate ordination, that I can get rid of my darn sunglasses! (metaphorically of course)

You have my prayers!